Archive for December 10th, 2016

“Tell Those Old Conservatives, Daddy …

Saturday, December 10th, 2016


… Why We Love, Uncle Vlad.”



Sometimes A Condom Just Isn’t Enough

Saturday, December 10th, 2016



 Fancy condoms:

NASA Monkey Business

Saturday, December 10th, 2016

In honor of John Glenn who often told this story.

Before sending a man into orbit in the early 1960′s, NASA (National Aeronautics and Space Administration) tested the conditions using chimpanzees. The most famous Chimp-Astronaut was Ham who actually did simple, timed tasks in his pre-flight training.

On January 31, 1961, Ham was secured in a Project Mercury space capsule and launched from Cape Canaveral, Florida, on a suborbital flight.  After about 17-minutes in space (during which time he hit buttons and pulled levers on cue,) Ham splashed down and became an instant national hero.  He was pictured on the cover of Life magazine and thousands of Americans wrote requesting his “autograph.”  NASA gladly complied and helped him put his inked hand print on numerous photographs.

The “real” astronauts were infuriated!  These were top Air Force test pilots who risked their lives and trained for years in America’s space program.  They hated the fact most Americans now thought their missions were so easy, they could be completed by monkeys.

On February 20, 1962,  John Glenn became the first American to orbit the Earth aboard Friendship 7.  To honor this huge achievement, President Kennedy invited him to the White House for a special award. As soon as she saw him, Carolyn Kennedy, the President’s young daughter asked, “Where’s the monkey?”

NASA Monkey retirement home:


Dylann Root

Saturday, December 10th, 2016


To Behead Or Not To Behead

Saturday, December 10th, 2016


There was another botched execution in Alabama, USA the other night. The poor mope coughed and gasped for air for 13-minutes after the lethal drugs were administered.  Death officials said that was within the “legal protocols.”  Right. SEE:

Anyway, capital punishment is not a big issue for me.  I’ll let you religious folks toss your Bible quotes at each other and try to figure it all out. But if we as a society are going to murder people, let’s at least do it quickly and efficiently.  I suggest: anesthesia + a guillotine.

We already have the drugs for anesthesia and there are no secrets about how to use them.  The guillotine?  It’s fast, efficient, guaranteed, and painless (at least no one has complained so far.)  We could make new ones out of stainless steel to give them a clean, modern look.  

Of course no one would have to hold up the severed head and proclaim, “Justice has been served!” This isn’t the French Revolution – it’s modern America, 2016.  Because of budget cuts we could also eliminate the position of  Attending Physician.  Obviously, anybody could sign the death certificate.

I know I’m sticking my neck out here on a controversial issue but what the hell?  If you were a murderer, how would you like to say, ‘Goodbye?’ Slowly strangling?  Or giving head?


Last public beheading in the civilized world: