Archive for September 1st, 2016

Why Men Can’t Write Advice Columns

Thursday, September 1st, 2016


Dear Walter:

I hope you can help me. Yesterday, I drove off for work leaving my husband in the house watching TV as usual. Within 2-miles, the engine died and I walked back home to get his help.

Once home, I couldn’t believe my eyes! My husband was in bed with our neighbors’ daughter! I’m 42, my husband is 48 and we’ve been married over 20-years. Our neighbors’ daughter is only 19!

When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted they’d been having an affair for the last six months! I told him to stop or I’d leave him. I love him very much, but since I gave him the ultimatum he’s become even more distant. I’m afraid I can’t live without him and I’m DESPERATE. Could you PLEASE help?!


Sheila M.

Dear Sheila M.:

Start by checking that there’s no debris in the fuel line. If it’s clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of this solves the problem, it could be a faulty fuel pump causing low delivery pressure to the injectors.

I hope this helps,


Advice columns:

How To Walk Like A Man – Or A Woman

Thursday, September 1st, 2016

Do you have an apologetic walk? Or a caveman strut that intimidates people?  Or a foot-shuffle that says “I’m not in a hurry because I have nowhere to go?”  People read a lot into your walk and it depends on you to create the impression you want.  Even though few of us want to be runway models, we can learn a lot from them – at least about walking.

How you walk:

don’s ‘Apology Tour’ Targets H-Cap Spaces

Thursday, September 1st, 2016


don trump has been insulting nearly everyone for over a year.  Disabled people, Mexicans, women, Muslims, most of the Republican party, Obama, hilly, hair stylists, and nearly everyone else have all been targets.   Now, because he must widen his support among voters, trump has begun an ‘Apology Tour.’

It’s not going so well. The first target of don’s regrets were Black people from whom he’s getting about a 2-or 3% favorable rating. Even for those polls, Ben Carson and his family had to be counted numerous times. New promo-photos feature trump eating Kentucky Fried Chicken.  He believes this will help get him “95% of the Black vote because they have nothing to lose.”


Next don took a surprise trip to visit all those “rapists, murderers, and drug dealers” in Mexico. He called them “amazing, hard-working people.” Who knew plummeting poll numbers could transform a nation of 130-million citizens!?


Is it true he’s planning a trip to Mecca?  Reports have said he’d like to turn the Great Mosque into the “biggest, most-amazing, tremendous, stupendous casino in the world!” He went on, “Once these towel-heads can gamble and see strip shows in their own country, they won’t even want to come to America!  Trust me, folks.” Muslims seem skeptical.

Finally, details are now being worked out for a continuing series of parking lot trump-speeches at numerous Walmart, Sears, and mall locations.  don’s idea is to build millions of locked, mini-walls around each handicapped space to keep out non-disabled shoppers. There were no details of exactly how the disabled will be able to access these spots.  Stay tuned.

trump’s ‘apology tour’