Archive for May 11th, 2016

Democratic Party Single-Hand Classes

Wednesday, May 11th, 2016


How to vote for “hilly The Hawk” with one hand while holding your nose with the other.


60’s/70’s Rock – The 5th Dimension

Wednesday, May 11th, 2016

‘Wedding Bell Blues’

‘One Less Bell To Answer’

5th Dimension Google:

The Tapeworm Diet

Wednesday, May 11th, 2016

From ‘howstuffworks’:  “A tapeworm is like something out of a horror movie. It’s a wiggly, creepy looking ribbon-shaped creature that lives inside you, absorbing your nutrients and laying millions of eggs. They can reach 20 feet (6.1 meters) or more in length and live for years. And if the idea of having a worm living inside of you doesn’t have you shuddering in revulsion, just wait until you hear how they reproduce.

Despite the extreme “gross” factor of tapeworms, some people have suggested that acquiring one intentionally would be a relatively simple way to lose weight. In fact, tapeworm pills have been sold as weight-loss aids in the past. In some ways, it seems to make a certain amount of sense — that is, if you can get past the gross-out factor.”

If you’re not eating, read more here:

Tapeworm diet products (no shit!)


Love Of Mail

Wednesday, May 11th, 2016


There are only two things in life for which we constantly hope and dream, and then, even after our illusions have been continually squished like sidewalk worms after a spring rain – we begin again – as if it were our first time.


One is Love*. The other is Mail.

“Mail come?”

“Did you get the mail?”

“Mail in?”

“Mail here yet?”

After years of disappointments – for six days a week, we still hope there will be some significant prize in our Cracker Jack mail boxes – even though Reality is doubled over in laughter at our stupid dreams.

How many times in our lives have we received anything that bears even a remote resemblance to that for which we hope? What do we usually get – day after day after day?


Bills. Requests for money to help homeless children, abused children, religious causes in Africa and the rest of the world, cancer research, childrens’ hospitals, educational institutions, landmark preservations. More bills. Money for whale savers, stray cat and dog advocates, tree huggers, battered women, wildlife protectors, funding for this old disease or that new treatment and baby seals.

Oh, and the advertisements. Incredible rates on pre-approved cards and once-in-a-life-time book offers. Prices on subscriptions where the cost of each magazine is less than the damn postage to mail it. Reminders of last chances to renew this or restart that and even important looking letters from corporate officers saying how much they miss us.

And how lonely do you have to be to open anything addressed, “To our friends at………”, “Current Resident of……” or “Box holder”? Get a friggin’ cat, wouldja?!


Here’s a test. The next time you’re SUPPOSED to get the mail – don’t. Put it off a bit. Don’t worry about tragedy – emergencies come over the phone. But let’s face it. You’re a postal junkie. Try to ride out the craving. You know one letter’s too many and a hundred letters aren’t enough.

Just ignore the damn mail for a day or two – really. Three days is kind of pushing it. If you’re not on vacation – and you don’t get your mail for three days – Postmen and Postwomen are trained to “tell someone.”

And then “someone” will come sniffing under your door. They’ll think you’re either in a coma . . . or dead.

Search for ‘Love’

Love Dates?


SEAWAY? I Thought You Said Seafood!

Wednesday, May 11th, 2016


Saint Lawrence and the grill.

Saint Lawrence is the Patron Saint of Cooking. Admittedly, he’s not on the Rock Star List of Roman Catholic Saints like Peter, Paul, and Mary – but he’s right up there because he’s a martyr. And they named the ‘Saint Lawrence Seaway’ after him.

In the third century, Catholics were being whacked like drone targets and those in their immediate vicinity.  Most were beheaded or burned at the stake.  But Saint Lawrence was roasted alive on a grill – which was ‘rare’ in those times.

He had a macabre sense of humor.  As he was being burned alive on the red-hot metal, he said “I’m roasted on this side. If you want me well done, it’s time to turn me over.”

How he got from the grill to the Table of Saints under ‘Cooking’ must be a funny story – but the Roman Canon doesn’t say.