Standing Up For Your Right To Get Falling Down Drunk Since 1996
Modern Drunkard Magazine: http://www.drunkard.com/
Modern Drunkard Magazine: http://www.drunkard.com/
*World Health Organization
Pave the Rain Forest! presentationsunplugged.com/
How to eat fire: https://www.google.com/
When I was about seven, I lived in a small town and made my career choice based on a carnival. Every July, a traveling troupe would roll into our town’s small park. There were a few trailers driven by shady carnies with black grease under their nails, some game booths, ripped tents, and a little portable stage for the “acts”.
Today these acts would not even be popular in the cardboard box villages of the homeless – but for kids in Hicksville, USA – they were fantastic! Our favorite was the Fire Eater. When this guy took off his shirt (he was also the Strongman), threw his head back, and shoved down a long, flaming sword, the crowd went nuts! I immediately decided that’s what I wanted to be in life – a Fire Eater!
Now, as an older man, I see there are a few disadvantages in that particular line of work. But as a kid, I went to the library and read all sorts of books and magazine on the subject. In one I remember the “worst” thing about fire eating in those days: rehearsing with lit, oily rags tied with wire around swords – and becoming complacent about it.
If you got too cocky and didn’t tie the wire tightly, part of the burning rag would slip off the sword, slide down your throat, and land – still burning! And I remember what the guy said about that unhappy experience: the fire would go out after a few seconds – but it was a looong few seconds.
Today, over a half-century later, I still remember that man’s words. If something’s not going well in a day, I say to myself, “Well, at least I’m not a damn Fire Eater.”
Fire Eaters: https://www.google.com/
Out of all the excuses used to continue these hopeless wars in Iraq, Afghanistan, Libya, and now Syria, to me, none is more ridiculous than the one above. America was shockingly unprepared for the terrorist atrocity committed on September 11, 2001. Today, after 14-years of wars, over 6000 US troops dead, and TRILLIONS of borrowed dollars spent, our country is not much more secure.
If your family and home were attacked by raging maniacs who lived in a lousy neighborhood in a distant town, which would be better to do? Fortify and guard your house, educate your family to defend itself, and continually stand watch – or – race to the faraway town and try to chase down and kill the bastards – despite the fact they keep changing neighborhoods and even towns?
There is so much more we could do to make America safer! Implement stronger transportation security strategies, treat TSA agents as highly-trained professionals, fortify our water, food, and power networks, increase internal antiterrorist intelligence, educate Americans to be constantly vigilant – the list goes on and on. But we don’t because we spend virtually all of our defense money chasing maniacs through distant towns.
As tough as it is for flag-waving, hard-liners to admit our Mideast policy has been a total fucking failure for 14-years, they must realize the only sane way out is ‘let Muslims kill Muslims’ – as America concentrates on its own security.
(And every day we bomb those countries, we CREATE more terrorists than we kill.)