Archive for September 1st, 2015

Can’t Perform Your Duties? RESIGN!

Tuesday, September 1st, 2015


County Clerk Kim Davis of Kentucky is in charge of her county’s marriage licenses.  She’s recently denied licenses to same-sex marriage couples and now she’s denying marriage licenses to ALL couples so she won’t “discriminate.” Two courts have ruled against her and the Supreme Court refuses to intervene. 

Davis is an Apostolic Christian and has a sincere religious objection to same-sex marriage. Fine – this is America.  But if performing her legal duties – for which she is being paid – goes against her beliefs, obviously she has to leave the job.  Some Christians believe that they have a direct pipeline to God and He told them the REAL definition of marriage.  And this somehow gives them the freedom to break the law and report to a “higher” authority.

Unfortunately for her, America is a nation of laws and not like some Mid-Eastern country that lets Allah permeate every level of government. 

I’m really not interested in Kim’s definition of marriage.  I don’t care if her information came from God or Kentucky moonshine.  American law is very clear on the subject: a marriage is between two, consenting adults. Period. Don’t like it?  Tough shit.  RESIGN!

Freedom of religion includes freedom FROM religion.  Deal with it on your own time.

County clerk won’t issue same-sex marriage licenses:

(BTW – does anyone really believe Kim Davis is a solitary, under-paid public servant who’s being persecuted for her personal religious beliefs? That’s hilarious! You don’t go through two court cases and the Supreme Court without very expensive lawyers and strategy consultants. 

Kim is just the public face in front of extreme, Christian right-wing groups who are trying to deny gay rights in America.  They’ll be as successful as they have been in overturning Roe vs. Wade.)

This Week’s Greasy Pole Contest In Malta

Tuesday, September 1st, 2015

At the end of the contest, participants fire rifles from the top of buildings. Anyone think alcohol is involved in this?

Sonny and Cher: 50-Years Ago!

Tuesday, September 1st, 2015

Sonny and Cher:

“Don’t Touch My Junk!”

Tuesday, September 1st, 2015

Junk? JUNK!?! The phrase above was made popular by the sniveling guy who was afraid of being manhandled by airport security inspectors. He has SUCH a limited vocabulary! Most of us are content with ‘penis’ (don’t you love the term ‘male penis’ – like there may be alternatives?).  Of course we’ve heard ‘cock’, ‘prick’, and ‘boner’ most of our lives – but there are so many more creative names.  Consider:

Trouser Sword, Pennis the Menace. Zipper Ripper, Skin Flute, Twinkie (creamy filling), Abdullah (the Tent Maker), Johnson, The Hole Package, Your Happenis, Kaptain Kielbasa, Chief of Staff, Pope John Pole III, Joystick, Thor’s Hammer, King Leer, Schtupper, Niagara Balls, Torpedo, Submarine, McThunderstick, The Slim Reaper, Jack Kerouwacker, schlong, Pole, Shaft, Rod, Pecker, Prick, Dick, Peter, Sperm Spitter, Sausage, Wang, Dong, Fuck Stick, Meat hook, Banana, One-Eyed Snake, Peener, Weenie, Tally-Whacker, One-Eyed Anaconda, Yogurt Cannon, Wrinkle Stick, One-Eyed Wonder Weasel, Penis Maximus, Cocktail Frank, Rumple Foreskin, Purple Helmet Warrior, Stiffy, Trouser Snake, Captain Winky, Woody, Mister Happy, Heat-seeking Moisture Missile, Hot-dog, One-Eyed Jack, Midnight Meat Train . . .

. . .well, you get the idea.

Alternative terms for ‘penis’


Foreskin And Seven Years Ago …

Tuesday, September 1st, 2015


The Unkindest Cut Of All

The first time I saw an uncircumcised penis was on the cover of John and Yoko’s album “Two Virgins.” I thought John had forgotten to take off his condom.  In the 1950’s, almost all kids in America got circumcised – especially the boys. All the guys on my block got one as soon as they were born and some of them couldn’t walk for a year!

People against circumcision have changed America’s minds. Today, only one in three baby boys is circumcised.  One of the most militant groups opposed is “Mothers Against Circumcision.” “Intact America” is another. They believe the operation is only supported by medical myths, religious traditions, is extremely painful, and a violation of human rights (Yikes!)

I’ve read the pros and cons about circumcision and I decided it’s not right for me.  Unfortunately, my parents made the opposite decision years ago and there’s no going back on it.  There are also no accepted medical procedures to reattach foreskins – even if you could find one in the right size and color.

“We do not pull out our teeth to prevent cavities — we brush them.”