Archive for August 13th, 2015

So Put This In Your Pipe And Smoke It

Thursday, August 13th, 2015


Are pipes safer than cigarettes?

‘Little Man In The Boat’ Couldn’t Fit On The Sled

Thursday, August 13th, 2015

William Randolph Hearst served as the inspiration for  Orson Well’s  Citizen Kane (1941). Hearst’s nickname for the clitoris of his mistress, Marion Davis, was the mysterious “Rosebud,” on his burning, boyhood sled in the final scene.

Enough On Your Plate

Thursday, August 13th, 2015


Funny license plates:

I Wrote This On April 26, 2011

Thursday, August 13th, 2015

Donald Trump used to be one of my favorite comedians.  Firing Miss America Prejeans, fighting with Rosie O’Donnell and Bill Cosby, diving into a dumpster for a commercial – hey, the guy used to be a million laughs.  I’ve never seen his reality TV show – or the star he got on Hollywood’s “Walk of Fame” but when he began to run for President, the Donald started to get a bit cranky.

When asked about rising oil prices, Trump said we should “just take it” from Iraq.

Say what?  Steal Iraq’s oil?

Donald said it wouldn‘t be stealing – it would pay us back for the $1.5 Trillion dollars we spent destroying that country.  Hmmm.  It seems Trump hasn’t been fired – he’s just fried.

I know one person who would LOVE to have the Donald get the Republican Presidential nomination:  Obama.  Every night he’s been on his knees praying, “Oh God, let it be Trump and Palin!”

Donald Trump jokes:

Oh, Put Your Things Away, Miley

Thursday, August 13th, 2015


What’s new with Miley Cyrus:

Today Is ‘Left-Hand Day’ In America

Thursday, August 13th, 2015


Have It Our Way, Oddballs

In 1998 Burger King took out a full page ad in USA Today announcing a “Left-Handed Whopper” specially designed for left-handed Americans. The new burger included the same ingredients as the original Whopper but all the condiments were rotated 180-degrees to accommodate left-handers.

Lefties were delighted! Finally – the world was recognizing that not all people are right-handed and the other 13% of the population was getting some respect. Thousands of ‘right – as a second hand’ customers rushed into BK’s across the nation requesting the new sandwich.

But there was no new sandwich. Surprised at the overwhelmingly enthusiastic response, a sheepish Burger King was forced to issue a press release the next day admitting the whole thing was a hoax.

Left-handers were not amused. Now, instead of being ignored, the overly-sensitive paranoids thought they were being mocked and ridiculed by a national restaurant chain. Of course they were “right” – 87% of us know they’re genetic mutants, not ‘getting with the program’ for their entire lives.

National Left-Hand Day: