Archive for March 31st, 2015

The Hair Apparant

Tuesday, March 31st, 2015


Kim Jong Un’s haircut:

Funke Becomes A Flunky

Tuesday, March 31st, 2015


The New York State Assembly passed our annual budget recently and the usual amount of pork was oinked in.  Newly-elected State Senator Rich Funke voted for it. Remember what he said when he ran 4-months ago?

“I’m certainly not a politician. I’ll let you know exactly where I stand on issues.”

I responded: 

“Let’s face it Funke, when you get to Albany, you’ll dance to the same old tune.”

‘Just Another Bland Politician’Everyone Is Entitled To My Opinion, October 4, 2014

The budget contained one proposal that gave a tax exemption for luxury yachts and private planes over $230,000.  If the average taxpayer managed to scrape together $1000 to buy an old rowboat, he’d pay about $100 in taxes and fees. A yacht worth a quarter of a million dollars?  No charge. 

Just one more politician doing the same old shit.  To get along, go along.  Just like I said.

Woman Stops Grizzly Attack With Small Pistol

Tuesday, March 31st, 2015

This is a story of self control and marksmanship. A woman survived a grizzly bear attack with one well placed shot from her itsy bitsy .25 caliber Beretta Jetfire.

These are her own words:

“While out hiking in Missoula, Montana, with my boyfriend, we were surprised when a huge grizzly bear came charging at us out of nowhere.  She must have been protecting her cubs because she was extremely aggressive.  If I had not had my little Beretta Jetfire, I would not be here today!  I yanked it out of my purse and fired one shot.  It hit my boyfriend in his kneecap and the bear caught him easily. While the grizzly mauled the poor cripple, I was able to escape by just walking away at a brisk pace.  I love that pistol.  I’ll find other boyfriends.”

Other methods/

Thanks, Gary

No – It’s Not “O-Taaay!”

Tuesday, March 31st, 2015

Remember Buckwheat? William Thomas was the young actor who played the character in “The Little Rascals. ” He was famous for a few years – and then took a dive into oblivion.  What happened to him?

ABC’s respected investigative reporting show, 20/20,  decided to find out. In October, 1990, the show claimed it had tracked down Buckwheat to Tempe, Arizona where, sadly, he worked as a grocery bagger. In the televised interview, ‘Buckwheat’ told his sad tale and many viewers felt sorry for him. Some sent money.

It was a great ‘riches-to-rags’ story except for one thing: the real Buckwheat, William Thomas, died over 10-years before the 20/20 show. His IMPOSTOR, Bill English, pretended to be Buckwheat for over 30-years! Uh, oh.

Within a week, a red-faced ABC admitted its mistake, fired the producer of the piece – and was sued by the child star’s son.

William Thomas wouldn’t have liked any of this. He was a quiet, modest man, who worked for many years in Hollywood as a film lab technician. And he never could understand the nostalgia that was making famous, once again, the ‘Rascals” series which made him a fleeting star.

Nonetheless, in 1980, Mr. Thomas reluctantly accepted an invitation to a ‘Nostalgia TV’ convention. He doubted many people would even remember the show – much less what he considered his minor contribution. He was wrong. Even before his introduction was finished, the audience burst into a spontaneous, loud and long, standing ovation which moved him to tears. It was Buckwheat’s last shining moment. Just three months later, Mr. William Thomas dropped dead of a heart attack. He was 49.

Buckwheat clips:

Glad You Could Come, Lindsay, But …

Tuesday, March 31st, 2015

Liferule #6:  “Everything before the ‘but’ is bullshit.”