Archive for March, 2015

The Hair Apparant

Tuesday, March 31st, 2015


Kim Jong Un’s haircut:

Funke Becomes A Flunky

Tuesday, March 31st, 2015


The New York State Assembly passed our annual budget recently and the usual amount of pork was oinked in.  Newly-elected State Senator Rich Funke voted for it. Remember what he said when he ran 4-months ago?

“I’m certainly not a politician. I’ll let you know exactly where I stand on issues.”

I responded: 

“Let’s face it Funke, when you get to Albany, you’ll dance to the same old tune.”

‘Just Another Bland Politician’Everyone Is Entitled To My Opinion, October 4, 2014

The budget contained one proposal that gave a tax exemption for luxury yachts and private planes over $230,000.  If the average taxpayer managed to scrape together $1000 to buy an old rowboat, he’d pay about $100 in taxes and fees. A yacht worth a quarter of a million dollars?  No charge. 

Just one more politician doing the same old shit.  To get along, go along.  Just like I said.

Woman Stops Grizzly Attack With Small Pistol

Tuesday, March 31st, 2015

This is a story of self control and marksmanship. A woman survived a grizzly bear attack with one well placed shot from her itsy bitsy .25 caliber Beretta Jetfire.

These are her own words:

“While out hiking in Missoula, Montana, with my boyfriend, we were surprised when a huge grizzly bear came charging at us out of nowhere.  She must have been protecting her cubs because she was extremely aggressive.  If I had not had my little Beretta Jetfire, I would not be here today!  I yanked it out of my purse and fired one shot.  It hit my boyfriend in his kneecap and the bear caught him easily. While the grizzly mauled the poor cripple, I was able to escape by just walking away at a brisk pace.  I love that pistol.  I’ll find other boyfriends.”

Other methods/

Thanks, Gary

No – It’s Not “O-Taaay!”

Tuesday, March 31st, 2015

Remember Buckwheat? William Thomas was the young actor who played the character in “The Little Rascals. ” He was famous for a few years – and then took a dive into oblivion.  What happened to him?

ABC’s respected investigative reporting show, 20/20,  decided to find out. In October, 1990, the show claimed it had tracked down Buckwheat to Tempe, Arizona where, sadly, he worked as a grocery bagger. In the televised interview, ‘Buckwheat’ told his sad tale and many viewers felt sorry for him. Some sent money.

It was a great ‘riches-to-rags’ story except for one thing: the real Buckwheat, William Thomas, died over 10-years before the 20/20 show. His IMPOSTOR, Bill English, pretended to be Buckwheat for over 30-years! Uh, oh.

Within a week, a red-faced ABC admitted its mistake, fired the producer of the piece – and was sued by the child star’s son.

William Thomas wouldn’t have liked any of this. He was a quiet, modest man, who worked for many years in Hollywood as a film lab technician. And he never could understand the nostalgia that was making famous, once again, the ‘Rascals” series which made him a fleeting star.

Nonetheless, in 1980, Mr. Thomas reluctantly accepted an invitation to a ‘Nostalgia TV’ convention. He doubted many people would even remember the show – much less what he considered his minor contribution. He was wrong. Even before his introduction was finished, the audience burst into a spontaneous, loud and long, standing ovation which moved him to tears. It was Buckwheat’s last shining moment. Just three months later, Mr. William Thomas dropped dead of a heart attack. He was 49.

Buckwheat clips:

Glad You Could Come, Lindsay, But …

Tuesday, March 31st, 2015

Liferule #6:  “Everything before the ‘but’ is bullshit.”

Today Is Vincent Van Gogh’s Birthday …

Monday, March 30th, 2015

… and Guess Where He Wanted To Go?

Read about the Dutch post-Impressionist painter here:

Do Americans Have A Right To Discriminate?

Monday, March 30th, 2015



I believe THEY SHOULD have that right.  Obviously the government can’t discriminate in things like housing, education, and employment – but small retailers should have control over their own businesses. 

For example, if I owned a small flower shop and I was prejudiced against religious nuts – shouldn’t I have the right NOT to sell them palms for their religious rituals?  Federal law says I MUST serve them as customers; the Indiana law says I don’t have to.

This is an oversimplification but you get the idea.  Why should I even have to let them in my shop if they bother me?  The government really can’t dictate how I think or feel but the law can dictate how I act. I think that’s wrong as long as I don’t interfere with their rights.

Gay people think the new Indiana law is aimed at them and specifically at gay marriage providers. They’re organizing economic boycotts  and that’s legal too. Good for them! It looks like those actions will hurt Indiana’s economy.  Oh well – freedom has its costs.

But gay people should be careful what they wish for. If vendors are forced to serve gays, I foresee weddings of wilted flowers, watered-down drinks, mediocre food, and faulty air conditioning in the hot, Indiana summer.  People often rebel when the government forces us to do what we don’t want to do.

If the Indiana law is repealed, I hope anti-gay marriage retailers will be professional enough to do their best for every wedding. But I’m afraid when it comes to human nature, gays won’t be able to have their wedding cake – and eat it too.

Indiana law:

(PS. I hope this post is not misinterpreted.  Everyone knows I am totally in favor of gay rights including marriage.  But this is America and people do have the “right” to be narrow-minded and ignorant.)

Milk-Seafood Noodles Commercial (Japan)

Monday, March 30th, 2015

Fucking March Madness

Monday, March 30th, 2015


Girl Lawyers Don’t Sit Like Sharon Stone

Monday, March 30th, 2015

A few years ago a large, international law firm, Clifford Chase, suggested its US female attorneys stop acting like they’re in “the high school cafeteria.” Ouch.  The UK-based company issued a blatantly sexist and patronizing memo suggesting what women should do to be taken seriously as lawyers.

“Presentation Tips For Women” has caused outrage on both sides of the Atlantic – especially among women.  Many clients must wonder what kinds of women the firm hired in the first place if it felt compelled to issue this memo.  Clifford Chase informs women that their friends will still like them if they “adopt a more formal tone.  And “It is better to be more formal, practised and professional, even in a casual crowd.” Other reminders:

“Sound Your Age.”

“Resonate: fill up your mouth with your voice.”

“Think Lauren Bacall, not Marilyn Monroe.”

Clifford Chase goes on to warn women against squirming, giggling, tilting their heads, eating too little or too much, drinking caffeine, drinking alcohol, hiding behind their hair, and (incredibly) letting audiences see up their skirts. And for God’s sake, keep your boobs covered! “No one heard Hillary the day she showed cleavage.”

As someone who has coached thousands of women professionals in presentations for over 30-years, I found the memo incredibly stupid.  Perhaps in the future the firm should choose applicants from law schools as opposed to those whom they meet in bars and strip clubs.

You can read the memo here.