Archive for October 25th, 2014

Strange Milkshakes

Saturday, October 25th, 2014


Warning: Not ‘Bout Milkshakes

“My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard
And they’re like, it’s better than yours
Damn right it’s better than yours
I could teach you
But I have to charge.”

I guessed this song was about hooking but I couldn’t figure out the “milkshake” reference.

A young friend of mine kind of rolled her eyes and explained that guys have a “milkish” fluid that women can “shake” out of them.  Oh.  Hot Kelis would teach other women what makes her so hot – but she’d have to charge them (probably because she’d lose customers).


Saturday, October 25th, 2014

nfl commercial

A National Football League game is some sports action crammed between television commercials. Clearly the advertising is the MVP because it’s the lifeblood of the sport – it pays for just about everthing. A television director with a list of commercials watches the game from a booth high above the stadium. He’s trying to unobtrusively stop the action between downs to fit in the advertising spots.  When he decides the time is right, he calls to a guy (like the one pictured above) who waves his orange-gloved hands to the referees.  Whistles are blown and then the players stand around for 2-or-3 minutes with their thumbs up their playbooks.

Everyone in the stadium knows the game is stopped – and why. Those of us watching the game at home then just see car and beer commericals on our screens.

Who’s the orange-glove guy on the sidelines at NFL games?

But…But…Butt Chugging?

Saturday, October 25th, 2014


Have you ever had an alcohol enema? I never even HEARD of an alcohol enema until a year or two ago when I read about a University of Tennessee fraternity which employed the practice – also called “butt chugging’ – as a drinking ritual.

It’s seems the boys insert “rubber tubing into their rectums as a conduit for alcohol greatly heightening its level and speed entering the bloodstream bypassing the liver.” They do this to each other.  Are Judy Garland songs playing in the background? Hmmmm.

Police were called when one of the guys was dumped at a hospital with a blood alcohol level over 0.4 percent, five times the legal limit for driving, and pretty close to “Game Over Player 1.”  The 20-year student was “extremely intoxicated and showed signs of physical and possible sexual assault,” the police report says. When they entered the fraternity, police found large amounts of alcohol, tubes, funnels – and frat guys passed out all over the place. Shocked University officials immediately closed the fraternity for an investigation.

I can’t imagine Tennessee is the only college in the country which plays anal drinking games. If I was a parent checking out schools for my kid, I’d make a special stop at the bookstore. If the shelves were stocked with huge collections of plastic tubes and funnels, I’d probably skip to the next college on the list.

Legally drunk limit: