Archive for April 26th, 2014

Cat Herding Commercial

Saturday, April 26th, 2014

Guaranteed Ear Worm

Saturday, April 26th, 2014

What’s an earworm?  See:

I Didn’t Even Get A Card

Saturday, April 26th, 2014

Do you remember what special gift you got for your 15th birthday? A young student from the Houston, Texas area will never forget his.  When he walked into his third-period class February 26th, he saw a chair in the front of the room facing the rest of the students. Music started playing and the entire class of middle schoolers began yelling and telling him to sit down – it was his birthday.

Once seated, the boy was approached by his teacher,  42-year-old Felicia A. Smith, who gave him a full, 4-minute, crotch-grinding, lap dance! Smith reportedly allowed the kid to slap her butt and then told the student “I love you, baby, happy birthday” after the song.

Ms. Smith was immediately suspended from school and arrested for having an improper relationship with a student.  She’s now free on a $30,000 bond.

It’s not hard to compare the incident to the mother who hired a stripper for her young son’s birthday party – and got a lap dance herself! See:

Told Ya

Saturday, April 26th, 2014

You Go Girl!

Saturday, April 26th, 2014

An old friend is going to India and it’s not as easy as it sounds. Because she’ll be visiting rural provinces, she must use “squat toilets” – basically communal holes-in-the-ground with privacy (sometimes).

Worse – toilet paper is not used in many places across India.  You are left with refillable buckets of water and your own LEFT hand (this has some religious significance which I’ve already forgotten).  After you clean yourself, I’m not sure, but I doubt if a washroom attendant gives you a clean towel.  More likely it’s the old wash and wear routine.

This squatting and washing ritual can’t be easy.  But to make it even more difficult, my friend will be dressed in modest Indian garb which includes a long top, a long skirt, and a traditional, long head scarf. How she’ll keep all of this off the floor is a serious mystery.  Underwear is not even mentioned.

After ignoring my basic advice (“Stay home!”) I will now generously give her two alternative, “outside the box” (so to speak) solutions:

The first is pictured above – it’s called the “SheWee” and costs less than $10.  Presumably it comes with instructions.

My second solution is ballsey-er.  It’s learning how to pee like a man – without the equipment.  It’s said that God gave the choice to Adam and Eve of having multiple orgasms or peeing standing up.  Guess who got to pick first?  Here are the instructions:

To me the whole thing sounds like a pisser!