Archive for January 16th, 2014

And Then I Was In An Orange Grove

Thursday, January 16th, 2014

I came of age during the 1960’s when my naive sexuality and feminine hygiene sprays crashed into each other.

I wasn’t totally ignorant about sex and women.  Like most guys, I looked at every explicit picture of naked women I could find and imagined what “it” would really be like.

I also read a lot about pleasing a woman.  I knew you were supposed to go “down there” and even had a vague idea of what to do.  For years I also heard about a wetness and an indescribable “smell” that let you know when a woman was excited.

So the first time I slid south through a tangle of underbrush (this being the feminist ‘60’s when trimming or shaving was discouraged,) I was struck with openmouthed awe to find women smelled like oranges! I made the stupid assumption that they all smelled like that – right up until my second woman.  Fortunately, it was a short interim.

And before you think I was uniquely dumb in my naivety, someday I’ll tell you the story of a woman who actually blew on me “down there” like I was hot soup. Christ I hope kids are smarter than that today.

When Movies Were Movies

Thursday, January 16th, 2014

Asian Pick Up Line

Thursday, January 16th, 2014

OBAMA: “I’d Like To Wring That Guy’s Neck.”

Thursday, January 16th, 2014

Former Secretaty of War Robert Gates.