Archive for January 13th, 2014

Coffee? No Thanks. I Drink Gargling Oil

Monday, January 13th, 2014

Telling Mom About Your First Time

Monday, January 13th, 2014

She Loved A Guy With Small Stones

Monday, January 13th, 2014

Moon rocks look just like earth rocks.

Pounds of rocks were transported back to earth in 1969 and it was reported that some of the astronauts and scientists pilfered a few to give to loved ones as an unprecedented gift of moon memorabilia.

My friend Bonnie, a very attractive ‘hippy chick,’ got a few pieces. They were given to her by the nephew – grandson – 3rd cousin – “somebody” related to one of the scientists. He gave them to her in a purple velvet bag.

I turned my head so she wouldn’t see my eyes roll – though she must have heard my suppressed chuckle/cough.

“I know what you’re thinking Franco,” she said, “but it wasn’t ‘that’ – I balled him before he gave them to me.” Now that was probably true – Bonnie had slept with everyone except the ‘Man in the Moon.’

“Where are they now?” I asked.

“I ate them.”

“Say WHAT!?”

“That’s right,” she said, “they just looked like regular, crushed stones – and I knew no one would believe they were from the moon, so I ate them.  I wanted them to be part of me forever.” (Obviously human digestion was not her strong suite.)

Long pause.

“Once I got a tan – from the sun,” I said.

“You know, Franco, sometimes you can be a real asshole,” she replied.

She’s right.

Why We Needed The 60’s

Monday, January 13th, 2014

“E” Head Writer Sensitivity Award

Monday, January 13th, 2014

(CNN) The Entertainment Network laid an egg on the red carpet Sunday in its lead up to the Golden Globe Awards when it listed Michael Fox’s 1991 diagnosis with Parkinson’s disease as a “Fun Fact.”

The usual ‘sincere apology’ statement was released:

“We regret the insensitive classification of Michael J Fox’s Parkinson’s diagnosis during our E online live stream,” the network said. “We understand the serious nature of the disease and sincerely apologize.”