Archive for December 11th, 2013

Quit Joking Around, Bitch

Wednesday, December 11th, 2013

… You Too Lady!

 

OK Dear - I'll be good.

Kate Upton, A Bikini, And The Flag . . .

Wednesday, December 11th, 2013

… WTF Else Do You Want?

It’s So YOU

Wednesday, December 11th, 2013

Helvetica is a sans-serif (without an artistic flourish in each letter) font (typeface) which is highly legible and completely neutral in expression.

Now there’s a new perfume that captures this symbol of the 1950’s Modernist movement: “Helvetica – The Perfume.”  It’s a scent distilled down to only the purest and most essential elements to allow you to present yourself with the utmost clarity. “Air. Water. You.”

Price? $62 in the finest stores. You can find it here.

And if you run out?  Just refill the bottle with ordinary tap water because that’s all it is.

If Only She Could Make Sauce

Wednesday, December 11th, 2013

This is my Aunt Carmella and her friend Danni wrestling at our last family reunion. Unfortunately Greco-Roman Freestyle Women Wrestling  was banned by the Olympics as a competitive sport in 1069 B.C.

World’s Most Expensive Billboard

Wednesday, December 11th, 2013

From 1925 until it went bankrupt for the first time in 1934, the Citroën car company advertised its brand on the Eiffel Tower  with 125,000 glowing lights.  Their bankruptcy was partly due to incredibly high electricity bills.

MessyNessyChic.com

She’s Expecting A Tattoo

Wednesday, December 11th, 2013

Awkwardfamilyphotos.com

The Cop Stop Hop

Wednesday, December 11th, 2013


Once I  was driving through a tough neighborhood in the city. The police stopped behind my car and treated me to a light show for which I would have paid money in the 60’s.

“License, registration, and insurance card please?” Wow was he young! What’s the minimum age for police applicants these days, thirteen?

He went back to his car and the computer check turned up nothing as I knew it would. He came to my window again and handed me my stuff as his partner stood behind my car.

“Sir, why are you in this neighborhood tonight?” He was getting ready to deliver his “dangerous drug area” speech. Sometimes even I don’t know why I do the things I do. I said,

“All right, Officer, you got me – I know it’s against the law.”

“What?”

“I’m a male prostitute.”

The flashlight beam poured over my face. “For men?” he naively asked.

“No, for young women. They’ve been after me my whole life. Now I’ve decided to charge.”

Time stopped. They sure didn’t go over this at the Academy. Was this old guy disrespecting the police? For what would he arrest me – aggravated delusions?  What would his Captain say?

“How’s business?” he asked trying not to laugh.

“Not so good. I think it’s the economy.”

“Get otta here!” he laughed.

As I started my car, I saw the silhouette of his head dancing in the flashing lights as he filled in his partner.

Most times, you’ve just got to make your own fun.