Archive for November 28th, 2013

Thanksgiving Thowback Thursday

Thursday, November 28th, 2013

Don't ax me.

It was a year ago when Sarah Palin held a press conference in front of a turkey beheading machine. When reporters said it might not be the best background, she disagreed saying it would be ‘neat.’ Later her office denied she knew what was going on behind her.

(Not for the squeamish) See it here.

6779 American Troops Won’t Be …

Thursday, November 28th, 2013

… joining us for Thanksgiving.  They were killed in Iraq and Afghanistan fighting for …uhh?

Had enough yet America?

And This Lovely Gown Is Also A Swimsuit

Thursday, November 28th, 2013

And Hula Boy isn’t concerned at all.

You Slapped Me! You REALLY SLAPPED ME!

Thursday, November 28th, 2013

Just Another Man You’re Going To Blame

Thursday, November 28th, 2013

Human test trials for the male birth control pill are now in the final phases. This is a really dumb idea.

WOMEN – here’s a hypothetical test:  you meet a really hot guy at a cool party. There aren’t any telltale tan lines of a wedding ring on his finger. He’s clean, kind of good-looking, and is neither a hairdresser nor an interior designer. And he’s only spent about three quarters of the time talking about himself.

A bouncing boobed bimbo shakes on by and he never takes his eyes off you. Bingo! You’re slightly drunk – so you invite him back to your apartment “to talk.” When he actually pays for the cab ride and gives the driver a good tip, you think – “should we rush a January wedding….or wait another month?”

As soon as you enter your apartment, passion melts the wallpaper! Clothes fly everywhere and at one point in the melee, you kiss your own forearm! After tumbling into bed, you take out a condom and hurriedly hand it to your new lover.

He smiles and says, “I don’t need that, Baby – I’m on the male birth control pill.”

WOMEN, Do you say …….

A. “Wow! You really DO have a great sense of humor!” or

B. “You HAVE to – I don’t want to get HIV again!” or

C. “Good! I WANT to have more children!” or

D. “Right. How selfish of me to put an unwanted pregnancy before your minute and a half of pleasure!”

Male birth control pills will become viable only when women trust men enough to put down the toilet seat every night.

(When I was single, I had a vasectomy.  I always knew ‘childfree’ was the right choice for me.  Sometimes when I went out with a new woman, she was hesitant about trusting me with that piece of information.  I was always happy to  let her find the small scar herself in a bar or restaurant.)

Thanksgiving Is Black Friday’s Eve

Thursday, November 28th, 2013

In the late 1960s I marched in ‘Civil Rights’ demonstrations. For one week I even lived with a Black family in the inner city on an exchange program.  I was proud when a national holiday was dedicated to Martin Luther King and contributed to his Washington memorial. I tolerate Kwanzaa about as much as I do the other ethnic heritage holidays like Saint Patrick’s Day and Cinque de Mayo.

But enough’s enough.

Everywhere I turn, I see Black Friday. Black Friday! BLACK FRIDAY!

Many people get the day off from work.  Stores are having huge sales to celebrate.  It’s in the news and on the talk shows.  And now, somehow, this day is even creeping into another holiday, Thanksgiving.  C’mon!

Hey,  Black people: You want another holiday?  Take Columbus Day – Italians don’t care.  Or Arbor Day.  That one’s a little shaky since Earth Day greened all over it.  You can’t have Christmas or Easter because the churches would go out of business.  How about May 27th – Jefferson Davis’ Birthday? That should piss off some people in Mississippi.

But try to grab one that doesn’t crowd another holiday.  Mix it up a bit.  We like to suffer these events one little misery at a time.


Thursday, November 28th, 2013

*(Mind Your Own Fucking Business)

One of my favorite portrait photography models was “C.” We used to have a lot of fun together.  C is a young woman about a head taller than me when she puts on her “hooker heels.”  She’s also about  35-years younger.

When we went out, I was amazed at the rude reaction of people.  Since we looked like the Prom Queen of Porn and her “manager”, we got all sorts of sneers, looks of disgust, and shaking of heads.

Once when we left a casino in Niagara Falls, Canada, a rude cab driver leaning against his car said to her, “Oh – is this your Father?”  Without hesitation, C said, “Yes, he is – but we fuck anyway.”  His face looked like he was punched in the stomach.

When you stick your nose into other peoples’ business, you get what you get with no apologies.