Archive for July, 2013

From Her Majesty’s Secret Cervix:

Tuesday, July 23rd, 2013

Royal pain-in-the-ass pizza.

Atta girl, Kate – we knew you had it in you!

Late Night Comedian Royal Baby Jokes:


Yeh … thanks

Sunday, July 21st, 2013

Was Jesus Marching That Day?

Saturday, July 20th, 2013

J is a woman who’s had a life that’s “colorful.” She became a “dancer” in the city – and took a dive into a world of drugs and decadence. At  20, she was stunning. You don’t need a calculator to figure out that sex, drugs, money, and a beautiful woman are going to add up to trouble. She was racing to an abyss-of-death – until her daughter was born.

J  quickly gave up drugs, dancing, easy money, and dedicated her life to that child. She took a series of mundane jobs that were respectable – but paid about as much in a week as she used to snort up her nose in a night.  Of course J had middle class dreams about her daughter as a bride in white and giving her wonderful grandchildren.

But that dream exploded when her daughter told her she was gay. “Say what? Gay? GAY!?!”

J  was DEVASTATED. She cried and prayed and denied it and begged her daughter to seek “help.”  She tried that sad route for YEARS! But in the end – it didn’t matter. Water is wet – the sky is blue – some people are gay. You can pound the ground all you want but that’s just the way it is. Finally J accepted what she could not change. To express her love and acceptance of her daughter, she agreed to march with her in a Gay Pride Parade.

“Franco,” she said, “I was shocked! We walked by a group of militant Christian activists who pointed their fingers at us and started chanting ‘You’re going to hell! You’re going to hell!’. There was hate POURING out of their eyes and mouths!”  “I was overwhelmed! I felt angry and afraid and very protective of my daughter when she grabbed my arm in near-terror.”

“And then a strange thing happened. I immediately calmed down and started saying, ‘I love you’ to them – and I really meant it! But that seemed to make them angrier still! We finally finished the parade and I knew those people brought my daughter and me even closer.”

When J finished her story, I had a strange thought.  What if Jesus walked in that parade and passed those protesters? Would He thank them? Would He be embarrassed that some people use His name to hate?

I told this story to a friend who’s a believer. She just shook her head and looked at me like I was an imbecile.

“He was there, Franco,” she said. “Why on earth do you think J answered hate with love?

One of God’s Answers to Hate

“Please Make It Cooler” Dance

Saturday, July 20th, 2013

Get out of your seats! – All together now . . .

Go On, Legalize MMA – Who Gives A Shit?

Friday, July 19th, 2013

Once again, the New York State Assembly knocked down a bill to legalize professional mixed martial arts. MMA is a full body contact sport that allows the use of boxing, wrestling, and martial art techniques from a wide variety of combat sports.  I’m told it’s usually bloody and much more exciting to watch than competition focusing on one sport.  Although most states allow it, New York thinks it’s too brutal – or the right people haven’t been paid off in the proper amounts yet.

Unlike dogfighting, bull fighting, and cockfighting, MMA features willing, human adults who’ll risk a few teeth, broken bones, and possibly worse for prize money.  Why does the state have any say in this at all?  The government is supposed to protect individual rights as long as those rights don’t interfere with the rights of others.  My only concern is these guys should be forced to get their own private medical insurance and not expect one dime from taxpayers to support their adventures.

If these dolts want to risk their lives because some gomers are willing to pay to see it, I say, knock yourselves out.

These Twinkies Smell Like Fish

Friday, July 19th, 2013

Raed The Wrod – Not The Ltteers

Thursday, July 18th, 2013

Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteers are in the rghit pclae.  Tihs is bcuseae we raed the wlohe wrod – not jsut the ltteers.


Wednesday, July 17th, 2013

If Trayvon Martin Was Shot By A Black Kid …

Wednesday, July 17th, 2013

… You Wouldn’t Even Know His Name

In American cities, about 50 young, Black kids under 17 are killed EVERY SINGLE WEEK. Over 90% of them are murdered by other Black kids – mostly by illegal handguns (about which the proposed gun laws can do nothing.)  Does anyone care?

We hear about the same culprits every time: gangs, drugs, poverty, lack of jobs, and poor education.  We see on television the same sad scenes of grieving relatives, curbside memorials, and devastated people with homemade “Stop the Violence” signs. So now the unusual case of a wannabe cop and a murdered Black kid pops up and everyone with a cause wants to have a minute on TV.

Nobody is “targeting” young Black kids – except other Black kids.  And THAT’S tragic.

Do you want to see the latest Trayvon Martin news from a variety of sources?

4-More Die From Powerpoint

Wednesday, July 17th, 2013

Would PowerPoint have helped Lincoln?

As many of you know, in real life, I’m a consultant for business presentations. I write them, analyze them, and coach presenters on how to make Great Presentations.  “Everyone Is Entitled To My Opinion” really has nothing to do with my business site which you can find here:

You’ll learn right away I don’t like PowerPoint.  I suggest my clients use it (if necessary) in the MIDDLE of their presentations.  Unfortunately, PP has spread to every aspect of presentations featuring: 1) too much information presented in a long, dull way, and 2) hiding lousy presenters from audiences.  Dull presenters think they can put their entire presentation on PowerPoint with no actual audience/human interaction.  They should just stay home and send the PowerPoint.

PowerPoint was originally designed for the Macintosh computer in the late 1980′s by Dennis Austin and Thomas Rudkin. They thought the visual aids would help the presenter by organizing and displaying short points of vital information.  Today they are disheartened to know their simple tool has malignantly grown into the “star” of virtually all presentations leaving the speaker less important than a backup cord.

My e-mail address is at the too of this page.