Archive for June 24th, 2013

“Hello, Mohammed?”

Monday, June 24th, 2013

“Achmed –  you’ve called 16-times this week! I told you; the Americans are counting our calls!  Why didn’t you use the other phone?”

“I forgot the number.”

“I told you the number at least 4-times!  Why can’t you remember it?”

“You told me not to write it down.  Anyway, remember the third half-screw…in the  – uhh – yellow rose of the flower arrangement?  Well, I dropped it.”

“Achmed – what the hell are you talking about!?  Look, I’m only going to explain this one more time. The Americans have a computer and they’re adding up all the calls between Muslim numbers and American Muslims.”

“Do you mean every time my Aunt Aiskha calls her son Malika to see if he fasted that day, the American government listens in?”


“I thought Americans had rights against that.”

“Noooo…Americans had rights like that BEFORE Bush’s Patriot Act – they don’t anymore.”

“But Obama is President now.  Didn’t they get those rights back?”

“Noooo … Obama signed an extension of that act and even more!”

“Well, I’m glad the Americans are listening to Aunt Aiskha.”


“Because nobody else will!”