Archive for May, 2013

God Save Us From Religious Nut Cases

Saturday, May 25th, 2013

Just after the horrific slaughter of a British soldier for “religious” reasons last week, we learn about the deaths of two children denied medical care because their parents  believe in faith healing.

Herbert Schaible, 44, and his wife Catherine were charged with third-degree murder and held without bail in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Their 8-month old infant died of untreated pneumonia – the same disease from which their 2-year old son died a few years ago.  The Schaible’s seven living children were immediately placed in foster care.

When their 2-year old died in 2009, the couple was convicted of involuntary manslaughter but promised a judge they would not let another sick child go without medical care.  They lied – and now another child is dead.

Judge Benjamin Lerner said, “Throughout this country … there are churches like the Schaibles’ whose members and leaders probably don’t think they did anything wrong and might be willing to put their interpretation of God’s will above the law.” The Schaibles are third-generation members and former teachers at their fundamentalist Christian church, the First Century Gospel Church in northeast Philadelphia.

Their pastor, Nelson Clark, said the Schaibles lost their sons because of a “spiritual lack” in their lives and insisted they would not seek medical care even if another child appeared near death.

Don’t You Hate It …

Friday, May 24th, 2013

… when they sit on the dryer?

Muslim Maniacs

Friday, May 24th, 2013

It’s hard to imagine hacking a human being to death with machetes and knives. It’s hard to imagine because we’re human beings and these London terrorists are animals.  Animals with a cause are still just animals.

The bastards were babbling about stopping the droning in Afghanistan and this was “an eye for an eye” or some such horseshit.  These dogs (about the worst insult you can give a Muslim) and I agree the droning must stop – but we violently disagree about how to achieve that end.

Militant Muslim terrorists still haven’t figured out that murdering innocents for their cause makes those against them even more hardened in their views. The United States is now even MORE likely to support drone attacks if vermin like this can be exterminated by them.

Banquet For Flies

Friday, May 24th, 2013

Today is the beginning of the Memorial Day Weekend. Often this means abandoning the ease and comfort we’ve developed for civilized dining – to eat outside – with the flies.

Typically, the Dad drags out the charcoal grill, dumps on too much lighter fluid, and then jumps back from the 2-foot flames.

“I’ll be ready for those steaks in about 10-minutes!” he shouts to his eye-rolling wife who’s just thankful he didn’t set the house on fire. The kids groan when they see a backyard inferno like they haven’t seen since the wildfires on television.

“MOM! Can we go to McDonalds?”

”No!” she yells back. “We’re a family – and families eat outdoors together on Memorial Day. It’s important to your Father.”

Louder groans. “Why?” one yells.

“God friggin’ knows…,” she thinks as she scoops salads onto paper plates from plastic containers.

“Go set the table! Use the paper plates and plastic silverware.” More groans.

Even before the kids find the long lost picnic supplies, the wind picks up and a new species of aggressive fly is attracted to the smell of burning meat. Finally the family is seated. Paper plates are held down by mayonnaise salads and one hand – as the other tries to shoo away the unrelenting pests.

And despite the fact that everything on the grill is now uniformly burnt to a crispy black, Dad asks the punch line question, “How would you like your steak?”

As Obama Drones On Tonight …

Thursday, May 23rd, 2013

I doubt he’ll talk much about the innocent civilian casualties of drones. He’ll say the drone attacks are legal and necessary for our defense against terrorism – and now he’s going to limit them.  If they really are necessary, why in the world would he limit them?

Drone attacks in far off lands are not necessary for America’s defense. The main fact to consider is the United States breeds terrorism every time we intervene in other countries’ civil wars.

If you torture yourself to listen to the horseshit tonight (oh wait – ‘torture’ was Bush and Cheney) – – – if you force yourself to listen tonight, please remember these simple facts:

• We bombed Afghanistan’s Taliban government in 2002 to retaliate for their support of al-Quaida’s terrorist attack on the World Trade Center on 9/11.  That government was crushed after a few short weeks.  Personally, I think our retaliation was absolutely justified.  But why are we STILL there 11-years later?

• After calling the wars “stupid” and campaigning against them in 2008,  Obama continued the same failed Bush policies when he was elected President.  In fact, he double-downed on our “stupid” commitment in Afghanistan.

Obama can no longer run for President – he’s now just trying to secure his place in history as a “good” President. He will do that only over the dead bodies of his civilian drone victims.

Let’s Give Dr. Joyce Elders A Hand

Thursday, May 23rd, 2013

Not all tissues are used for nose and ear products.

I hope you’re doing your part to celebrate National Masturbation Month which comes to an end next week. No other issue even comes close to the worldwide shame and silence of masturbation.  Virtually every real religion – and most of the pretend ones – harshly condemn this sexual activity which is practiced by 94% of people (while the other 6% lie.)

In 1995, US Surgeon General Joyce Elders bravely suggested that masturbation could have a place in sex education as a better choice than riskier sexual practices such as intercourse.  Religious and conservative fanatics burst into a raging, critical fireball dooming Elders’ common sense, alternative suggestion – and Elders herself.  President Bill Clinton who by his actions, seemed to prefer more adventurist sexual encounters, immediately fired her.

To protest Elder’s dismissal, a pioneering, adult sex group, “Good Vibrations,” organized a national movement to designate May as a time to celebrate happy endings.  Virtually every person in the world is a past, present, or future member of the group – whether they know it or not.

Top 10 Masturbation Sites:

Go To School – There’s A Nurse There

Wednesday, May 22nd, 2013

That’s what my Mom told me when I felt sick and didn’t want to go to school. She also told my grade school teachers, “If he misbehaves, make sure you punish him. Then, when he gets home, he’s going to get the wooden spoon.”

The dreaded wooden spoon! Now I don’t really remember getting hit much with the wooden spoon but the threat alone kept me good for a long time.  Things are much more complicated these days.

Jami Littlefield, 51, of Norwich, Connecticut was arrested and charged with third-degree assault when she paddled her 4-year old foster child with a wooden spoon.  The child struck her granddaughter, spat at her, and used a racial slur, according to the arrest document.

Littlefield was arrested after the girl’s biological mother noticed bruises on her daughter’s buttocks on a supervised visit. A medical staff  determined the girl’s contusions were caused by repeated strikes of a blunt instrument.  Littlefield plead guilty and now faces 100 days in prison and two years of probation.  The child was removed from her home.

Obviously the bruises suggest the foster-Mom lost control when she spanked the girl.  But something else bothers me here: the girl’s age is 4.  Aren’t there better ways to discipline a kid who’s old enough to go to school?  Pulling the plug on her computer, hiding her cell phone, or disabling her TV immediately come to mind.

Should Have Listened To The Maniac

Tuesday, May 21st, 2013

Osama bin Laden was a sick, twisted egomaniac who took an extreme sect of Muslims and perverted their interpretation of the Koran into evil. Mention his name to Muslims today and their reactions range from disgust to (in one personal experience) loud, vein-popping anger.


I’m reading Holy War, Inc. by Peter Bergen in which he interviewed bin Laden for CNN in 2000 just months before 9/11.  bin Laden made it very clear why he hated Americans:  basically we are interfering with Muslim revolutions and ways of life in their Arabic countries. bin Laden said he would not make a distinction between American civilian and military targets despite the fact that the Koran itself is explicit about the protections offered to civilians. He could not have been more clear.

Was our government not listening to him?  Did they think he was kidding – or his power could not extend to attacking America on our own soil?

Today we breed more Muslim maniacs every day because of our continued presence in Iraq and Afghanistan. America’s attacks are visual aids of our arrogance and cruelty to mostly non-educated people.  When your family is blown to bloody bits, you’re probably not thinking about being free of the Taliban which is all you’ve ever known.

I LOVE Biker Chicks

Tuesday, May 21st, 2013

Why We Needed The ’60’s – Part 23

Monday, May 20th, 2013

(Notice the only person NOT clapping is the blond in the lower left.  She’s just nodding her … uh …head.)