Archive for April 9th, 2013

Wing-Nuts Don’t Fly

Tuesday, April 9th, 2013

The funny thing about wing-nuts is they don’t see themselves as wing-nuts. They can look across the political spectrum and easily pick out other wing-nuts – but when you hold up a mirror in front of them, they turn and say, “What…?”

Last week a court said Plan B – a reasonable birth control option – did not need a prescription and could be sold from drugstore shelves.  This sent right-wing wacko’s over the edge wailing that 12-year olds would now be fucking in the halls between classes.  They ran to scoop up their bloody-baby-abortion signs which were just cooling down after the last contraceptive controversy.

Look kids – a microscopic, fertilized egg is NOT a baby.  And Plan B prevents conception!  I don’t care what your God whispered in your ear – sane people govern ALL of us.  Want a government run by religion? Move to Iraq!

And don’t YOU laugh, left-wing loonies!  In his mad dash for stricter gun controls, Obama dragged Newton, Connecticut victim parents around by their ears displaying their children’s school photos.  Pathos maximus! All of the tragic mass murders in the last few years have been committed by LEGAL guns – which new laws wouldn’t touch.  Don’t drag the rest of us into your delusions!

It’s a sad day in this country when I’M considered a moderate.  It means we’re side-heavy with people nuttier than I am.

Coming In A Theatre Near You

Tuesday, April 9th, 2013

RATED: XNAA (Not Approved for Anyone)

If you saw the original “Night of the Living Dead” you’ll find this funny … maybe.

Monkey Girl Sold To Brothel For A Parrot

Tuesday, April 9th, 2013

Still able to quickly climb trees at 62, Ms. Chapman also may have an aunt who's a leopard.

Marina Chapman had a colorful childhood. She was kidnapped when she was five and then dumped in the Columbian jungle.  Quickly adopted by a group of carablanca monkeys, she learned how to find and eat berries, bananas, roots, and even mice.

Whew.  After a few years, Ms. Chapman was kidnapped again – this time by hunters – and sold to a brothel for a parrot.  She escaped and  lived many years on the streets of Columbian cities. Finally she was adopted by a family who begged her to write her memoirs.  They said she could make some big bananas if the book was successful because the lady has quite a tale.

The book, The Girl With No Name, went on sale last week at Barnes & Noble.

The book reminds me of Heaven Is REAL – by Todd Burpo, the kid who died and sat on Jesus’ lap – then came back to write 2 bestsellers about it.


Tuesday, April 9th, 2013