Archive for March 20th, 2013

First They Cut Off My Big Toe …

Wednesday, March 20th, 2013

… and I couldn’t play kickball.  But I kept smoking. Then they cut off my arms and I couldn’t play baseball but I kept smoking. Next, they cut off my legs and I couldn’t play soccer – bad because I was down to two packs a day by that point and felt pretty good.  Finally they cut off my torso and all I can do now is talk – and smoke – if someone lights my cigarette. And if my mouth gets dry I have to drink sugary, super-size sodas.  All of this was caused by smoking.

OKAAAAY!  We get it!  Smoking is bad.  But 4 out of 5 Americans don’t smoke and don’t plan to start.  So why do ALL of us have to watch a continuous stream of these disgusting gross and gore anti-smoking commercials? ENOUGH!


OOPS … Sorry, Wrong Picture …

Wednesday, March 20th, 2013

US Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld and "The Worst Dictator Since Joseph Stalin," Iraq's Suddam Hussein yukking it up at a formal dinner.

People forget that Saddam Hussein was our ally for years against Iran. As he murdered thousands of his own people, we looked the other way.  We knew he had weapons of mass destruction because we sold them to him and kept the receipts.

But then in 1991, Iraq invaded Kuwait and we had to stomp on Hussein because our supply of cheap oil was threatened.  Hey man, kill as many of your own people as you want – but don’t mess with our oil. (I forget, how did “our” oil end up under Iraqi sand?)

Anyway, Hussein and the US were still pals after we pushed him back to his own country.  Hussein liked our side so much he even  threw Al-Queda out of Iraq.  So a “holy war” was declared against HIM by Osama Bin Laden.

After 911, 2001, the US launched a justifiable retaliatory strike against the Taliban in Afghanistan.  We crushed them and then George Bush said, “Hell, since we’re in the neighborhood anyway, why don’t we invade Iraq and get that bastard Hussein?”

And so we did.  We invaded Iraq exactly 10-years ago today. We started a war with unclear reasons, little to gain for America,  and an expensive, tragic ending. We thought the war would be short and “free” because Iraq would pay us back in oil revenues (STOP LAUGHING!).

I know hindsight in always 20-20 but -sorry- some of us saw all this back then.  And the Russians gave us an education on what would happen in Afghanistan.  I can tell you right now what will happen to the US in Syria, Egypt, and Libya.  I’m not that smart – but I don’t have any monetary interests in the Military-Industrial complex either. So I don’t have to make up shit.