Archive for March, 2013

Suicide Vests Are Muslim ID’s, Right?

Sunday, March 31st, 2013

Nazi's required Jews to wear Stars of David for identification.

According to a Gallup poll, 39% of Americans believe that our government should force Muslims to carry a special form of I.D. Facts like this make my doctor, my dentist, and my sisters – all Muslims – CRINGE.

Ignorance, fear, and non-tolerance are still huge problems in this country.

“America” isn’t as much a country as it is an ideal of freedom and democracy for all.  We come closer to achieving that than anyone else in the world – but we still have a long way to go.

Type ‘Muslim’ into my Search box.

Dancing Not For Dollars

Sunday, March 31st, 2013

Women really love to dance. And I just don’t mean ballerinas, strippers, show girls, and belly-dancers.  I mean everyday lawyers, nurses, stay-at-home Moms and just about all of them.  Go to any club or party and women will be dancing with each other and sometimes even alone.

But most men would rather go to the dentist than go dancing (except a few who dance with other men).  You can usually find the guys leaning on the bar or in a group of their buds at a party.


A recent study stated that women love to dance because it “frees” them of inhibiting physical behavior in socially-acceptable ways – in a safe environment.  They can rhythmically slink, jiggle, step, bounce, gyrate, spin, twirl, pendulate, shake their asses, and make sexual moves WITHOUT over-exciting alpha males who just want to see them waving their feet at the ceiling.

Today Is Vince Van Gogh’s Birthday

Sunday, March 31st, 2013

And Guess Where He Wanted To Go?

What Is “Help, Help?”

Saturday, March 30th, 2013

Art Fleming passed away. Do your remember him? He was the original host of Jeopardy from 1964 through 1975. I always liked him better than the priggish Alex Trabeck. Anyway Art had a heart attack near his home in Coral Gables, Florida. As he called for help from the sidewalk, many people just ignored him and walked by. Apparently he didn’t phrase his plea in the form of a question.

Damn! Where’d I Put That Camera?

Friday, March 29th, 2013

It’s Tough To Study for A Drug Test

Friday, March 29th, 2013

Sydney Levin, 34, of St. Charles, Missouri was out on probation for possession of a controlled substance and felony theft. When he got out of jail, Sid smoked a little weed but really wasn’t worried about it.  The reason?  He’d bought the famous $99.95 Whizzinator kit which advertises that it: “includes a prosthetic penis with an adjustable strap, a 4oz reservoir, one vial of lab grade synthetic urine, 2 eight hour heat pads, temperature indicator, detailed instructions, and a reusable refill syringe.”

Sid figured he could easily pass a drug test.  Sid figured wrong.

The probation officer who gave the test became suspicious when Sid started “fiddling around down there like he was opening a jar of olives.”  He was immediately re-arrested and charged with “possessing a forging instrument” and, of course, violating his probation.

Warning: It might be inconvenient to apply for the Whizzonator’s money-back guarantee if you land back in jail.


The Whizzonator:

Should The State Get Into Your Pants?

Thursday, March 28th, 2013

Flint, Michigan and other cities have enacted laws which prohibit you from hanging your ass out of your pants. Most people agree these are great laws in the quest for public decency.  I think they stink. If some fool wants to walk around looking like a clown, his right to do that trumps your “right” not to be offended.

I think back to the ’60’s when a small number of hippies – some my good friends – looked like they just stepped off the cover of Dr. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band.  Although no one whined they were outraging public decency, many people were outraged by their clothes and  their hair.  The ‘public decency’ anger usually erupted when women chose not to wear bras or not to wear tops at all. Nothing much came of it but TERA, the Topfree Equal Rights Association still has a great website:

Individual rights is the most important issue here but, to many, there’s another element which must be considered: ass saggin’ young men – whose fashion sense is inspired by prisons – are lousy examples of the African-American community.  If image is any consideration in this society – and it is – the leaders of that community should get these guys to pull up their pants.

But if they do or don’t is none of my business – and it shouldn’t be the government’s either.

The Need To Breed

Wednesday, March 27th, 2013

Let's have another baby.

Yesterday before the Supreme Court, Attorney Charles Cooper was defending California ‘s Defense of Marriage Act banning federal benefits for same-sex married couples. At one point Cooper maintained that the main reason for marriage is to have children.

One of the Justices asked, in effect, “Shall we then ban marriages to couples over 55?”

In an unimpressive display of high school biology, Cooper responded,

“Your Honor, even with respect to couples over the age of 55, it is very rare that both couples — both parties to the couple are infertile. ”

The courtroom burst into laughter.

Among traditionalists, ‘Having Children’ seems to be a very strong defense against gay marriage.  This ignores the fact that many same-sex couples adopt children and studies show in terms of childrens’ emotional health, there’s little difference between gay and straight parenting partners.

When I had a vasectomy BEFORE having children, I thought ‘child-free’ was an option in America.  Again it seems many traditionalists want to limit government – unless government is limiting activities of which they do not approve.

Models For Healthy Women

Wednesday, March 27th, 2013

The average department store mannequin is size 4-6 and weighs about 15-pounds. The average American woman is size 14 and overweight.  New research shows they’re turned off by stick-figured mannequins and that means fewer sales.  Swedish H&M, a department store, is now displaying ‘only’ regular size models.  It’s being lauded by feminist groups and whined about by women who think this is encouraging obesity.

And I Thought It Was Just A Good Acid Trip

Tuesday, March 26th, 2013

Rick Polito