Archive for February 26th, 2013

Obama: The Sky Is Falling!

Tuesday, February 26th, 2013

Remember: the sequester does not cut the federal budget – it cuts the anticipated INCREASES in the budget. Obama stooges have warned us that if it goes through, our military will collapse, we’ll be open for terrorist attacks, and dumb kids (from cuts in education) will be starving in the streets.  Don’t be stupid, America.

Source: Congressional Budget Office

The Green Ravine-Machine

Tuesday, February 26th, 2013

Women: does your vibrator sound like a logger’s chain saw slicing though a sequoia tree? Do your house lights flicker when you plug in your buzzin’ best friend? Do you think your kids really believe you buy the 72-pak of double AA batteries for your electric toothbrush?

Come on now – it’s time for you to come and go green!  There are many eco-friendly sex toys available now at your local sex shop and on the internet. There are solar-powered vibrators (rechargeable for rainy days), non-chemical lubricants, vegan “natural” condoms, “locarotic” buzzers, edible creams, insertables without BPA plastics, and many other organic, earth-loving sex enhancers.  And they all come in recyclable packaging!

Destroying the environment is a real buzz-killer (unless you’re into that sort of thing).  So come on.  Don’t screw up the planet while you’re getting screwed!

Holy Batshit! Boy Wonder Bites The Dust

Tuesday, February 26th, 2013

"I've gotta go to the batroom!"

Remember Robin, Batman’s young and often annoying sidekick? You know the one who made you feel like grabbing his tights and giving him a super wedgie?  Like Ronald McDonalds, there have been many Robins over the years – in comics and movies and on tv.  There even  was a Wonder Bat Girl at one time.  They’ve all died except the current Robin, Damian, Batman’s 10-year old son – who will kick it tomorrow in cartoon red.

DC Comics has confirmed that Robin will croak in the new issue of the comic but didn’t reveal too many details of his demise.  Needless to say he dies a superhero, “battling a brutal enemy.”

I doubt if he will be mourned by many.  Hell, if the kid couldn’t pull in new readers – or excite old ones – his comic days were numbered anyway.