Archive for February 13th, 2013

You See, Kids …

Wednesday, February 13th, 2013

… these poor people were vacationing on a Carnival Cruise and they didn’t have enough to eat or working toilets for almost four whole days.  Today their cell phones went out! They’re on the news now saying how horrible it is.

Guess Who Just Quit Smoking?

Wednesday, February 13th, 2013


I’ll bet I would’ve had a lot more respect for Timothy Dorner in 2008. He said he got fired from the Los Angeles Police Department for being a whistleblower who wouldn’t step behind the thin blue line of cop silence. I’d guess there was something to that.

LAPD had a lousy reputation for racism, corruption, and arrogantly disregarding the rights of nearly everyone.  Years ago they thought the rules of laws and rights did not apply to them.  It was pretty much the same in New York, Chicago, Dallas, and every other large city in America.  I think things have gotten better in recent years because of the public outcry.

Anyway, Dorner might have had a case – right up until the time he decided to take revenge against LAPD by shooting cops AND THEIR FAMILIES.  That crosses the line for every person regardless of his cause.

Any legitimacy Dorner might have had at one time went up in a cloud of smoke.

Don’t Be An Ash-Hole

Wednesday, February 13th, 2013


It would not be a good idea today to wipe that  unattractive smudge from your friend’s forehead. Today is Ash Wednesday – an important Holy Day for Catholics.

Of course, few Catholics remember why they get the smudge. I think it has something to do with the day America converted from coal to electricity,  or a remembrance of the day Tammi Faye Baker converted to Catholicism, or what you would look like after confessing to a mortal sin on Saturday afternoon, doing your penance – getting to third base with your girl Saturday night – then dying in a horrible car accident before you got to Communion Sunday morning. I forget – something like that.

Foreheads get a lot of play in different cultures.  Indians get color-coded dots – which is why we sensitively call them “dotheads.”  Muslims wrap them in turbans (“towelheads.”)  And there are a few which believe the forehead holds a “third eye.”  Holy optometrist!  OK – so I forgot the name of triple eyeballers.  Give me a break – I’m Italian! (slapping his forehead.)