Archive for February 11th, 2013

Unemployment Rises; Pope Laid Off

Monday, February 11th, 2013

In a surprising announcement, the Vatican said that Pope Benedict XVI would be leaving his position on February 28th because of budget cuts. The Pontiff is the spiritual father of hundreds of millions of Catholics around the world.

“He costa lotta lire.” said Vatican spokesperson Luigi Fundo-Mastrodonato shaking his head, “Madonna! The overseas trips ona private jets, the flashy Popamobile, his arta collection, and constant costume changes are breaking the Vatican bank.”  More budget cuts from Vatican City are expected including the possibility of smaller Communion wafers, cheaper Communion wine, and fewer candles.

There’s no word yet about any future employment opportunities for Benedict but advancing age and a rather limited range of job skills narrows the possibilities.  Since the Pope is an accomplished pianist, rumors are floating that he may become a back-up singer for Elton John especially on songs like Billy Joel’s “Piano Man” and Elton’s “Bennie and and the Jets.”

Didn’t Get The Grammy Dress Memo

Monday, February 11th, 2013
Katy Perrys