Archive for February, 2013

The Emperor Has No News

Thursday, February 28th, 2013

Does the American government censor the news you see? Well of course it does.  Sometimes they say they do it for national security – other times they don’t even pretend to have an excuse.

Six posts down, I wrote “Ashamed For America”  highlighting the fact Afghanistan President Hamid Karzi ORDERED US troops out of one of his eastern provinces for leading and training Afghans in torturing and killing civilians. I provided this link for a collection of stories from reputable, American news sources:

This is unprecedented!  Can you imagine the president of a country for whom we’ve fought and died ordering us out of his country because we’re torturing civilians?  Is Afghanistan a sovereign nation – or a puppet of the United States? Can’t its recognized and elected leader choose to run his country as he sees fit? Have you ever read anything like this in our history? But here’s a bigger story:

There’s not one significant follow-up story from the day after that news broke. Go look. No US response, no defense, no denial – no ANYTHING about our government’s reaction to Karzai’s order.  The “coalition” gave a buried, little blurb saying there was nothing to it – but that was it.

The reason for all this hush-hush is because the war in Afghanistan is going much worse than we know from the news. Obama is continually lying to us about these wars.  And we wonder why those mobs of Arabs hate our arrogant guts.

Before PhotoShop, They Had To Use Real Magic

Wednesday, February 27th, 2013

Obama: The Sky Is Falling!

Tuesday, February 26th, 2013

Remember: the sequester does not cut the federal budget – it cuts the anticipated INCREASES in the budget. Obama stooges have warned us that if it goes through, our military will collapse, we’ll be open for terrorist attacks, and dumb kids (from cuts in education) will be starving in the streets.  Don’t be stupid, America.

Source: Congressional Budget Office

The Green Ravine-Machine

Tuesday, February 26th, 2013

Women: does your vibrator sound like a logger’s chain saw slicing though a sequoia tree? Do your house lights flicker when you plug in your buzzin’ best friend? Do you think your kids really believe you buy the 72-pak of double AA batteries for your electric toothbrush?

Come on now – it’s time for you to come and go green!  There are many eco-friendly sex toys available now at your local sex shop and on the internet. There are solar-powered vibrators (rechargeable for rainy days), non-chemical lubricants, vegan “natural” condoms, “locarotic” buzzers, edible creams, insertables without BPA plastics, and many other organic, earth-loving sex enhancers.  And they all come in recyclable packaging!

Destroying the environment is a real buzz-killer (unless you’re into that sort of thing).  So come on.  Don’t screw up the planet while you’re getting screwed!

Holy Batshit! Boy Wonder Bites The Dust

Tuesday, February 26th, 2013

"I've gotta go to the batroom!"

Remember Robin, Batman’s young and often annoying sidekick? You know the one who made you feel like grabbing his tights and giving him a super wedgie?  Like Ronald McDonalds, there have been many Robins over the years – in comics and movies and on tv.  There even  was a Wonder Bat Girl at one time.  They’ve all died except the current Robin, Damian, Batman’s 10-year old son – who will kick it tomorrow in cartoon red.

DC Comics has confirmed that Robin will croak in the new issue of the comic but didn’t reveal too many details of his demise.  Needless to say he dies a superhero, “battling a brutal enemy.”

I doubt if he will be mourned by many.  Hell, if the kid couldn’t pull in new readers – or excite old ones – his comic days were numbered anyway.

The Hebe Meant No Offense

Monday, February 25th, 2013

Neat beanie or bad combover.

A 30-year veteran of the New York State Assembly says he meant no offense when he wore blackface makeup, an Afro wig, and a basketball jersey to a costume party. Democratic Assemblyman Dov Hikind said he doesn’t regret the costume he wore to a party for the Jewish holiday of Purim.

Dov probably won’t get good grades for sensitivity but he’s given me a great idea for a Halloween costume this fall:  I’m going as a Hassidic Jew Rabbi with eggs in my pockets so I don’t eat anything unKoshered.

NOT Woody Allen in "Annie Hall."


Ashamed for America

Monday, February 25th, 2013

President Hamid Karzai has ordered the removal of all U.S. special forces from a strategic eastern province of Afghanistan because we tortured civilians and trained Afghans to do it too. Did you miss that on the news?  Oh well, the Oscars were on . . . blah, blah . . . it’s boring . . . and the other side did it first. Right.

News slipped out last week that we’d killed over 4,000 civilians in our ‘no muss-no fuss’ clean drone attacks.  That was the official number so it was probably double or triple that.

Ah, Iraq and Afghanistan.  Sweet memories of waterboarding, Abu-ghraib prison, troops urinating on dead enemy fighters, mini Mai-lai massacres (including women, children, and the elderly,) friendly fire, troop suicides, murderous “allies” killing our troops, Koran burnings, and so much abuse and torture of civilians, we’ve been asked to leave. After 11-years and over $1-trillion dollars.  Mission accomplished.

Although US troops committed these atrocities, the poisoned atmosphere that ignited them came from Presidents, Generals, and the top people in charge.  We’ve made Arabs less-than-human in their own countries.

Proud to be an American?  Save it for the 4th of July.

What Happens When You Die

Sunday, February 24th, 2013

Fingering Cops

Sunday, February 24th, 2013

I never thought it a good idea to flip the bird to cops. Robert Bell, 26, disagreed.  On August 6, 2011, Bell left a bar in New York City at about 10:00 pm.  Three cops walked passed him on the sidewalk going in the same direction.  For whatever reason, Bell didn’t like that and threw up his middle finger at their backs.

What Bell didn’t know was that a fourth officer who lagged behind his colleagues, saw the one finger salute and arrested him.

“Do you think that’s funny?” the officer said as he handcuffed Bell.  “Why did you do that?”

“Because I don’t like cops,” Bell said.  Uh, oh – wrong answer.

Bell was taken to the 6th Precinct stationhouse and charged with disorderly conduct for making an “obscene gesture” and causing “public alarm and annoyance.” He was released about 2-hours later. In the fall, his case was dismissed because the arresting officer failed to appear in court.

So did Bell just brush himself off and go on with his life?  Of course not.  Since he wanted to be an attorney anyway, he sued the New York City police department for violating his Constitutional right of free speech, false arrest and imprisonment, and inflicting emotional distress. Yikes!

The City didn’t want to go to court over this nonsense and recently settled the suit for $15,000.  Bell said he will use the money to go to law school.

They Score More Than They Do In Hoops

Saturday, February 23rd, 2013

The Rochester, NY City School District is beginning to distribute free condoms on Monday. There is an “opt-out” choice for parents and each student who receives the free condoms must sign a form every time he or she takes them.  The purpose of the program is to slow the spread of teenage pregnancies and STD’s.  I’ve been advocating this idea for years.

Surprisingly, the maximum number of condoms each student is allowed daily is 10.  TEN!!!  When shocked parents and media asked school administrators about this outrageous number, they were told it was based on a successful, 20-year program in New York City schools. Also, if the students ask for the maximum a few days in a row, they will be talked to by counselors to see if they’re giving them to friends or have “problems.”

Wow!  If kids actually need them ten times a DAY, medical science should take their blood each week and sell it on the open market.  The profit from this alone should take care of school taxes for the entire district.

Besides being amazed, I’m a little jealous.  My own personal daily best (in Junior High School) was FIVE.  I just wish there was a nice girl around to enjoy them with me.