Archive for October 25th, 2012

The Guys Will Now Line Up To Measure

Thursday, October 25th, 2012


China has hosted many beauty pageants in the past including  Miss World in 2012. On Friday, pageant officials laid down a new rule:  candidates had to have nipples spaced at least 20 centimeters (7.8 inches) apart.  Say what?

Besides traditional measurements like chest, waist and hips, and the new nipple-distance rule, the contest also demands the space between candidates’ pupils be at least 46-percent of the distance between their eyes and their ears. Better bring a calculator along with your tape measure.

Pageant officials said it determined the new numbers “using the internet.”

The internet EXPLODED with feminist anger when the announcement was made! “How can beauty standards include breast distance? Do they take women as toys?” said Chinese TV personality Yang Lan.

Well of course they take women as toys – they’re in a beauty pageant!

“Sure, I’ll let them measure my nipples,” said one disgusted contestant, “Right after the man drops his trousers and lets me measure his penis.” The chance of that happening would be very small.