Archive for October 22nd, 2012


Monday, October 22nd, 2012

“Basha the Jungle Girl” was the ultimate carnival hustle. Now you KNOW they can’t turn a girl into a gorilla –  so it wasnt’t a question of IF they were  going to scam you – it was just a question of HOW?

A bunch of us high school kids stood near the tent opening  wondering whether it was worth a buck to see the Basha transformation.

Suddenly there was a loud explosion in the tent and about thirty people ran screaming and laughing out of the conveniently-opened  side flap.  “Go in, go, hurry!” they said, “It’s unbelievable!” We could hardly wait to push our sweaty dollars into the ticket taker’s hands.  The tickets only had two words printed on them, “No Refunds.”

Once inside the hot, pitch black tent with another thirty “customers”, a dim red light started to glow on the small stage. It highlighted a woman who was either highly agitated and pulling out her hair – or giving herself a shampoo. You could barely see a thing so, of course, the crowd pushed closer and closer to get a dollar’s worth of thrill.

The woman quietly moaned as jungle music started to play. Then, BANG! – a loud explosion! – a lot of screams, a bright spotlight in our eyes – and then this goofy, growling guy in a cheap gorilla suit ran right into the crowd!  Everyone started running through the open tent flap, laughing and screaming as we went and telling the people outside “Oh, yes! you HAVE to see this!”

I never had so much fun for a dollar in my life!

"Really? Shazam!" Gomer


Cuba: Grande US Failure

Monday, October 22nd, 2012

Castro checking out rumors of his death last Friday.

I may watch the presidential debate tonight unless I have something better to do – like brush my cats.

It’s always fun to watch the candidates argue about foreign policy waving their points at each other seeing who can be more warlike-macho in their quest for peace.  Warring for peace is like fucking for virginity. Cuba is an outstanding example of our irrational foreign policy.

Fidel Castro was an evil dictator who was worse than either the Taliban or al-Qaeda. 10 US Presidents have vowed to topple him. None has been able to for a simple reason: the Cuban people just don’t want our brand of democracy.  That’s what rankles old cold war, anti-commies the most.

Here are six advantages Cubans would have if they chose to dump their dictatorship and align with the US:

We’d also lift the heavy trade sanctions and tourist bans with which we’ve tried to cripple Cuba’s economy. We’ve been bullying other nations in the world to get our way – why doesn’t it work with Cuba?

Maybe I’ll learn the answer tonight – from my cats.