Archive for October 8th, 2012

C’mon Baby Light My Fan

Monday, October 8th, 2012


Remember all those times you wanted to read a  book at your desk with a loud, little fan blowing air in your face? I don’t either.

But I needed a desk lamp.  The clerk at Big Lots kind of scrunched her face and led me to a little leftover display where the price of everything is slashed one more time before they donate them all to the Salvation Army.  “This is all we have,” she said.

I could hardly believe it.  A small lamp with a little fan which I can plug  into a USB port on my computer.  It’s an LED USB Lamp Fan!  Marked waaay down to $5!  Who came up with an idea like this? China, of course.  There’s a rumor they’re also building-electric shaver fans and blenders with lamps.

If someone thinks it will blow up my computer through the USB port, please tell me.  Soon.

Do We Get Mail Today?

Monday, October 8th, 2012


Most Italians don’t really care much about Columbus Day. It’s supposed to be a day of national pride – but most Italians just shrug their shoulders and say “Do we get mail today?”

Columbus was a typical, hustling paison. He sailed for the highest bidder who happened to be Queen Isabella of Spain – convincing her that he’d find the West Indies – supposedly a land of untold riches they could easily exploit. Contrary to popular opinion, he knew the world was NOT flat – he just didn’t know how big it was.

In 1492, Columbus’s three ships  landed in America which he then claimed he “discovered” – despite the fact that Vikings were here at least 500-years before, and the country was already populated by Native Americans (who may already have been dancing about looking for sites for future casinos).

So ‘Columbus Discovered America’ is a good story – but not historically true. Oh well, at least he discovered it on a Monday – giving Americans another long weekend.