Archive for September 27th, 2012

Taste That Beats The Others Warm

Thursday, September 27th, 2012

India is the world’s largest democracy. Indians don’t eat what Westerners eat (beef) – and we don’t drink what some Indians drink: a soft drink made from cow urine. Cows are sacred and honored in India even, apparently, their liquid waste fluids.

This bovine brew is being developed by the Cow Protection Department of the RSS, India’s largest and oldest Hindu nationalist group. (See what happens when unions get out of control?) Hindus have been pushing the health benefits of drinking Bossie’s “other wet drink” for thousands of years.

Om Prakash, the head of CPD, said the drink – called “gau jal,” or “cow water” – in Sanskrit – “won’t smell like urine and will be tasty too. It will not be carbonated and it will be devoid of any toxins.” Right.

Now, I’m no expert on cow piss but I would guess the whole thing is pretty toxic and if you take out the toxins, really – what’s the point? Well, of course, there’s another point – Hindus believe their country is going to hell because of Western cultural influences best symbolized by Coca Cola. And gau jal just might be what the yogi ordered to stem the flow (so to speak).

I think the whole thing is udderly ridiculous – but what a pisser! And if you want to try it?  Urine good company.

Dorothy Parker Says:

Thursday, September 27th, 2012

I like to have a martini, two at the very most. After three I’m under the table, after four I’m under my host.

More Wine In Your Water Bowl?

Thursday, September 27th, 2012

Anyone who knows me knows I like cats better than people. Honesty is big with cats. That’s why I know they burst out laughing when they hear commercials for the convoluted concoctions like you see above.

Looks good, doesn’t it? This one is Wild Salmon Primavera in a Classic Sauce with “garden” Veggies (as opposed, I guess, to those which are grown between the cracks of sidewalks). Ummm.

Advertisements for these “Elegant Medleys” say the selections are “restaurant inspired” – which is good news for those feline connoisseurs currently eating scraps out of restaurant dumpsters.

Unfortunately, few cats will be terribly enthusiastic about the new colors in the Medley menu. You see, cats can’t see many colors; in fact, some experts claim they can’t see ANY colors.

Texture? Cats are far-sighted and extremely sensitive to movement so they can hunt prey. Their extraordinary sense of smell is also a hunting tool. So a clump of stationary mush with different shapes, sizes, and colors – out of a metal can – isn’t much of a feline thrill no matter what fancy adjectives you slap on the label.

You can buy a no-name brand of cat food for about 29-cents a can. These “Fancier Feasts” START at 79-cents!

Why would this product even be made?

What’s born every minute?