Archive for September 25th, 2012

Bigfoot: “I Saw A Mermaid In Loch Ness”

Tuesday, September 25th, 2012

Mermaid dressed like a cheap hooker with beads and bangles.

I never found mermaids sexy. Really – half-human, half-fish; where are you going to go with this one? What could you do with her and how could you do it?

Anyway, “Animal Planet” ran a fictional documentary, “Mermaids: The Body Found,” last summer. It used actors playing scientists and breastless mermaids who swam around in half-fish costumes with special effects.  The docudrama was clearly labeled science fiction.

“Body Found” was run in Australia last year and not much came of it.  However this is America and we’ll believe just about anything (listen to the election campaign.) Thousands of Americans called the government wondering if mermaids were real and where could they see them? So much hoopla was raised that the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration from the US Department of Commerce felt it their official duty to release a statement.

After a puzzling lead-in, here’s what they said on September 12th:

“But are mermaids real? No evidence of aquatic humanoids has ever been found. Why, then, do they occupy the collective unconscious of nearly all seafaring peoples? That’s a question best left to historians, philosophers, and anthropologists.”

"You looking at me, buddy?"