Archive for September 18th, 2012

Please Burn Flags Not Embassies

Tuesday, September 18th, 2012

Burning an American flag must be the most cliched protest in the world (YAWN). Usually it’s just a silly, little tantrum thrown by fanatical Islamic lunatics who manage to find an old flag, lighter fluid, and a few matches – wow. Rectangular pieces of colored cloth aren’t our country – they’re merely symbols of our country and we have lots of them around.

Whenever I see an American flag burned in protest, I’m a little prouder of America. We have the right to freedom of speech – it’s in our Constitution – and upheld by our Supreme Court. Even burning our own flag is allowed. Try burning your country’s flag in your country, Achmed. Better yet, burn a picture of Allah and see where that gets you.

We know where burning an American flag got Abdullah Ismail of Lahore, Pakistan last Sunday.

According to Pakistan’s Express Tribune, Abdullah was jumping around a burning American flag – probably chanting “Death to America” or some such drivel. He inhaled the fumes, got sick, and was rushed to a hospital where he died. The exact cause of death was not released.  Oh well.

I hope Mr. Ismail did not die from sucking down flag fumes. If he had to die, I hope it was Allah slapping him down for being such a boring, unoriginal nitwit in a very dull demonstration.

Killing “My Way”

Tuesday, September 18th, 2012

Karaoke is big in the Philippines.  In America, it’s often performed by a staggering drunk trying to sing to the machine with a mike in one hand, a bottle in another, and intoxicated with mad delusions of talent. You’d better not try that in the Philippines which takes its karaoke seriously – sometimes, deadly seriously.

Karaoke machines are all over the nation in streets, grocery stores, and sometimes, even standing alone on country roads.  Unfortunately, this singing is not universally appreciated by everyone in the country.  Arguments, brawls, stabbings, fights, and even an occasional murder are common.

The reasons? People criticizing others’ singing, alcohol, crowding, and machismo all contribute to the mayhem.  But the unquestioned leading cause of the killings is Frank Sinatra’s classic hit, “My Way” – and no one seems to know why.  Many karaoke bars have eliminated the song from their play books and most singers won’t even try to warble it.

Imagine, old Blue Eyes can still start a barroom brawl years after his death.

Deaths-by-karaoke are not limited to the Philippines. In the last two years,  a Malaysian man was fatally stabbed for hogging the microphone at a bar and a man from Thailand murdered eight people after the group sang John Denver’s “Take Me Home, Country Roads” a few times in a row.

Now, I can understand the Thai man – but the rest seem mighty strange.

(Orange was Frank Sinatra’s favorite color.)