Archive for September 5th, 2012

Roseanne’s New Anthem: The Rich Suck

Wednesday, September 5th, 2012

Not Rosanne but I'd rather look at Diane Keaton.

On her Twitter page, socialist Roseanne Barr called billionaires “violent pedophiles,” “consumers of violent pedo porn,” and “empty coke addicts.” She’s running for President with her “Roseanne for President 2012” campaign and is trying to get a nomination from the Green Party.

The formerly fat comedian did not endear herself to voters when she called all Americans “brainwashed” and “ignorant.” She probably won’t be invited to the Presidential debates.

I keep mixing Roseanne up with Rosie O’Donnell.  Oh – that’s right.  Rosie is the charming one. Roseanne is the one with the nice voice.

Make Sure He’s Most Sincerely Dead

Wednesday, September 5th, 2012

Alexey Bykov wanted his girlfriend to know how awful her life would be without him. So he hired actors, makeup artists, crashed cars, and a scriptwriter to fake his own death in a pretend, fatal automobile crash.

He arranged to have the woman, Irena Kolokov, meet him at a designated spot at a specific time. Upon arriving, she burst into tears because she saw Bykov on the road, covered in blood seemingly killed in the crash. His death was “confirmed” by a paramedic on the scene who led her towards his body.

Immediately Bykov “jumped back to life” and fell to one knee.  He then held out a ring and proposed to her. The shocked woman said “yes.”

“I wanted her to realize how empty her life would be without me and how it would have no meaning without me,” Bykov later told an interviewer.

If this story is not a hoax, the woman should have grabbed the dolt around the neck and smashed his head into the road.  Then she might have seen how wonderful life can be without being chained to a friggin’ psychotic loser.