Archive for June, 2012

Since You’re Down There Anyway,

Saturday, June 30th, 2012

Robert Pershing Wadlow (February 22, 1918 – July 15, 1940) was the tallest person in history for whom there is accepted evidence. Wadlow reached 8 feet  11 inches in height and weighed 439-pounds at his death at age 22.

Quick – Hide The Oxycotton!

Friday, June 29th, 2012

DAMN it was a bad week for Rush Limbaugh! First the New York State Same-Sex Marriage Act celebrated it’s first anniversary which got his panties in a twitter.  Hell, Rush of Flatulence is an expert on the subject – he’s been married FOUR times.

Next Oreo Cookies swished on an ad featuring the ‘Rainbow Oreo’ in support of Gay love and pride.  Bad enough that the man could no longer buy his conservative duds at JCPenneys.

Finally, the Supremes sang that ObamaCare is mostly Constitutional.  Which was good because after the decision, many right-wingers needed some immediate medical attention.

I think R-of-F should just take a vacation.  If he gets any crazier, he might stumble down his 12-steps and crash into some of those bleeding-heart nitwits from MSNBC.

You Don’t Chew It, You Suck It

Thursday, June 28th, 2012

This is an ad on Facebook by Oreo Cookies to support Gay Pride Month (I added the title.) The caption reads, “Proudly Support Love!”

Hundreds of thousands of people commented on the post from the social media company – most of them positive.  Of course thousands went nuc’lar and threatened to boycott the company (yawn.)  It must be tough being pulled into the future kicking and screaming.

In case anyone forgot this is just advertising, the fine print reads:

“made with crème colors that do not exist.”

Sniffling All The Way To The Bank

Thursday, June 28th, 2012

NBC fired Ann Curry from the Today show. She’s sad but not that sad.  The network already signed a contract guaranteeing her $10 million per  year for 3-years – even if she does nothing but works on her tan in California.


So A Bee Goes Into a Bar . . .

Thursday, June 28th, 2012

. . . wearing a yarmulke. The bartender says,”What’s that on your head?”
“A yarmulke,” says the bee. “I didn’t want anyone to think I was a Wasp.”

(Where All The Bad Shirts Go)

Want To Make A Drug Lord Laugh?

Wednesday, June 27th, 2012

Modern drug tunnel UNDER our borders.

Just Mention the War On Drugs

NY again tried to decriminalize small amounts of pot in our state. The Republicans in the NY Senate extinguished it.  They’re following the drunken steps of the Federal government which has spent about $500-PER SECOND for DECADES trying to tell us to ‘just say no.’

Ask any 10-year American kid if it would be harder for him to buy a pint of liquor or a small bag of weed and he’ll laugh at you.  Legislating morality is always a losing proposition for the government. The most obvious examples are Prohibition and the War on Drugs – oh wait, I forgot gambling, pornography, and prostitution.  Voluntary “crimes”  where the victims are the same people who commit the crimes. And drug deaths?

The number of drug deaths in the US in a typical year:

  • Tobacco kills about 390,000 people.
  • Alcohol kills about 80,000.
  • Sidestream smoke from tobacco kills about 50,000.
  • Cocaine kills about 2,200.
  • Heroin kills about 2,000.
  • Aspirin kills about 2,000.
  • Marijuana kills 0. There has never been a recorded death due to marijuana at any time in US history.

Source: NIDA Research Monographs

If you’re FOR the Drug War (giggle), here are some simple answers to questions you might have:



Tea Storm Brewing

Monday, June 25th, 2012

New Low For Highs

Monday, June 25th, 2012

Rochester Police continue to refuse comment on a strange report concerning the city’s drug trade: women who drive around to local street drug dealers exchanging oral sex for illegal narcotics.

Although trading sex for drugs is relatively common, one aspect of this activity has taken a different turn: allegedly, some women don’t exit their vehicles because of fear for their personal safety.  It’s reported that they roll down their windows and dealers are given oral sex while standing on the curb.  When finished, the dealer hands the woman a small bag of drugs and she drives off.

It was reported that at least one alleged dealer appeared to hide the transaction by looking at a magazine on the top of a customer’s car.

Rochester City Police did not return my calls for comment.

Scotch Tape Your Breasts

Sunday, June 24th, 2012

Women: don’t you just hate it when you wear a beautiful, new low-cut dress to a party and the girls pop out to greet the guests? If you don’t notice it at first, you can tell when a man opens his mouth in udder awe.  Or when his wife stares at you, snarls, and sneers something about you being a little tramp.

Well, fret no more, cherie d’mour, help has arrived:

2000 But Who’s Counting?

Saturday, June 23rd, 2012

The 2000th American was killed last week in Afghanistan. It kind of slipped by me.  For years, I got up most mornings at 5:00 AM to put the updated casualty numbers in the Comments section of our local paper.  I wanted the stats to be the first thing a reader saw when he turned to that page.

I did it so Americans wouldn’t forget that our soldiers were fighting and dying every single day in two worthless sand traps. I took a lot of shit for it – especially from the Right wing. Many said I was being disrespectful to our troops.

I knew my efforts wouldn’t do any good. Most Americans don’t care anyway. The US war machine is far more powerful than a country of easily-conned, yahoo voters.

So I’ve given up trying to change things which will never change.  My blood pressure is much lower and I’m enjoying the summer without even thinking of war death and carnage – just like any good, patriotic American.

And now I’ll go back to tanning, reading a mystery novel,  and wondering if it’s a little too early to add vodka to my iced orange juice.