
Many people forget we celebrate Memorial Day to honor those who’ve given their lives defending our freedoms. They think a family barbecue is somehow a fitting tribute. They should just go to McDonalds instead.
Typically, the Dad drags out the Webber grill, fills it with old charcoal (vintage: Memorial Day, 2011), dumps on too much lighter fluid, and then jumps back from the 2-foot flames.
“I’ll be ready for those steaks in about 10-minutes!” he shouts to his eye-rolling wife who’s just thankful he didn’t set the house on fire. The kids groan when they see a backyard inferno like they haven’t seen since the California wildfires.
“MOM! Can we go to McDonalds?”
”No!” she yells back. “We’re a family – and families eat outdoors together on Memorial Day. It’s important to your Father.”
Louder groans. “Why?” one yells.
“God friggin’ knows…,” she thinks as she scoops salads onto paper plates from plastic containers.
“Go set the table! Use the paper plates and plastic silverware.” More groans.
Even before the kids find the long lost picnic supplies, the wind picks up and a new species of aggressive fly is attracted to the smell of burning meat. Finally the family is seated. Paper plates are held down by mayonnaise salads and one hand – as the other tries to shoo away the unrelenting pests.
And despite the fact that everything on the grill is now uniformly burnt to a crispy black, Dad asks the punch line question, “How would you like your steak?”
For a much more appropriate tribute to our holiday, see tomorrow’s post: “A Vietnam Vet Looks at Memorial Day” by Joe Belle-Isle and rochester_veteran’s piece on Monday.