Archive for April 29th, 2012

So This Snail Goes Into A Bar . . .

Sunday, April 29th, 2012

Snail Yoga

There’s nothing like a good snail joke or amusing gastropod anecdote to liven up even the dullest party. Here are two of my favorites:

• A snail and a turtle are crossing the road from opposite directions.  They crash.  The police come and interview the snail.  “What happened?” asks the officer.

“I don’t know,” says the snail. “It all happened so fast!”

• A guy is home reading the paper and hears a knock on his door.  He opens the door only to find a little snail on his porch.  He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.

A year later the guy is home reading his paper and there’s a loud knock.  He opens the door and there’s the snail again.  In an exasperated voice the snail says,

“WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT!?”

Word Of The Day: Gastropod (GAS-tro-pod) noun. A class within the phylum Mollusca which includes snails, slugs, and (my personal favorites) the semi-slugs.

I’m Flummoxed

Sunday, April 29th, 2012

Verushka was one of the top runway models of the sixties.

I’m flummoxed as to why she’s trying to make a comeback today.  I’ll bet she’s an attractive 71-year old woman – but walking down the runway with 20-year olds makes her look like an old Mick Jagger in drag.

Word Of The Day: Flummox (flum-mox) verb; To confuse, bewilder.