Archive for March 5th, 2012

My “Inner Child” Is A Slut

Monday, March 5th, 2012

Can only women be sluts (or, as they call them in the Northwest, “lumber camp toys”)?  Are men sluts: studs, dicks, or just real, REAL lucky?

Is the term decided by numbers?  How many sex partners does it take to be a slut?  Are 10 enough? 100?  Does 200+ put you in the “Super Slut” category like Charlie – “I’m not a slut I just play one on television” – Sheen?  What about fantasies?  Can you think yourself to slutdom?

Do all sex partners count equally?  Is a blowjob in the mens room equal to a wine&dine one night stand?  Can you count yourself as a sex partner?  How many times?

And what about hookers and porn stars (“I’m not really a slut – I just have a user-friendly vagina”)?

It’s all pretty confusing to me.  If someone called me a slut, I still wouldn’t know whether to hug ‘em, shrug ‘em, or fock ‘em.

The Willing Suspension of Disbelief

Monday, March 5th, 2012

Whenever you see a movie or play, you must willingly forget what you know is reality to enjoy the production. If you think about it too much, you won’t believe the story line or the characters.

In real life,  you know Meryl Streep is not Margaret Thatcher – no matter how convincingly she portrays the British Prime Minister.  If you thought about it too much, you’d remember Meryl is just an actress standing before a camera and bright lights, delivering rehearsed lines written by someone else.  There are probably a dozen technical people within ten feet of her, she is now going through her fourth take, and probably sweating under the lights.

It’s kind of like politics.

I’ve decided if you want to care about politics at all, you must willfully suspend your disbelief – forget what you know about reality.  Every politician promises to cut taxes, raise revenue in magic ways, and provide you with more services.

We KNOW that’s horseshit.  It never has happened and never will happen.  But we must voluntarily pretend it MIGHT happen, vote, and hope for a happy ending.