Archive for February 11th, 2012

Wear Your Underwear to Work

Saturday, February 11th, 2012

This is an actual ad I saw on my RoadRunner e-mail sign-in page. (The comments in red are mine.)

The 360 Sport Trunk is the ultimate active underwear for all day performance. Designed for men who want more out of their underwear. (And who doesn’t?)

Quick Draw Fly™
Horizontal fly for “quick” access when nature calls (Do people who buy these have continence problems?)
Contour Pouch
Unmatched support, secure comfort, and lift (I’d sure like more lift from my underwear.)
360 Degree Stretch
Moves with body in all directions to PREVENT riding up. No ride up alert (What the hell is a ‘ride-up-alert’?)
Zoned Ventilation
Targeted mesh zones to wick, cool, and keep you dry during intense activity (Cool your wick?)
Utility Pocket
Stash pocket for ID, keys, cash, IPod™, etc (For when you sit around the office in your red underwear.)
Anti-Odor Technology
Prevents cause of odor causing molecules (Your coworkers will thank you.)
Wear to the office, wear to the gym, wear to work out (Hell – you’ll never have to shower again.)
Price: $29.00

(Say what? For 1-pair!!  I’ve bought pants for less than that! Oh right – if you wear these, you don’t need pants.)

Damn – now everyone knows what I want for Valentines Day.