Archive for February 6th, 2012

WTF! MY Bank Account?

Monday, February 6th, 2012

NOT my Debit Card

I bought about $50 worth of groceries on Friday and my card was “declined.” I paid in cash.

At home, I tried to pay my Time/Warner bill over the phone (I have 3rd world cable so it’s pretty cheap) and AGAIN my card was declined.

I went to my bank today and explained the situation.  The teller ran my card and scrunched up her face. She said it was showing a “strange code’ and I’d have to call a certain number. Yikes! When I called, I was transferred to the HSBC Debit Card Fraud department. The woman was very nice.

“Mr. Paolo,” she said, “on such and such a date did you buy airline tickets for Emerich Airlines? We declined that transaction.”

“What!?” I said, “I never heard of Emerich Airlines!”

After more of these sorts of questions, she informed me that  ‘Yes, your account has been compromised. We’ll cancel it now and send you a new card in 5-7 business days.  Sorry for any inconvenience.”

She also said it was “nothing personal” – some master crook computer managed to put my card numbers together and started charging things.

If it really knew my financial situation, I’m sure it wouldn’t have wasted its time.

She’s Not A Virgin Anymore

Monday, February 6th, 2012


Yesterday we were waiting for the Superbowl Halftime show because it might spice up a dull game. We wanted to see the Madonna of old – but all we saw was just an old Madonna doing a 20-minute commercial for her new album.

Madonna used to be outrageous, sexy, provocative, funny – plus she could sing and dance.  Well, she can still sing (although all her songs were lip-synched.)

She had a spectacular entrance as Cleopatra so outlandish it made Lady Gaga look like an Amish school marm.  But how she got from there to being a cheerleader or her circus numbers is anybody’s guess.

During one of her songs some singer named M.I.A. flipped the audience the bird which enraged a bunch of “decency” groups in America.  That was pretty funny because I didn’t even see it.  It wasn’t nearly as bad as Nancy Grace’s slipped nipple – which was better than Janet Jackson’s wardrobe malfunction pasty.

Madonna couldn’t save a boring game or uninspired commercials so she should learn something from my old friend, Ginger Lynn.  Ginger was THE top adult entertainment goddess of the ‘80’s. Through the ‘90’s and beyond, she came out of retirement again and again – only to disappoint her fans and herself.  She finally said, “There comes a time when a girl has to hang up her G-string.”

She should have told that to Madonna.

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