Archive for January 12th, 2012

She Loved A Guy With Small Stones

Thursday, January 12th, 2012

Moon rocks look like earth rocks.

The moon rocks are moving. After 40-years of study, moon surface samples collected from the 1969 NASA Apollo 11 mission are being returned to the Space Center in Houston, Texas.  It’s been a long trip.

Pounds of the stones were transported back to earth that year and it was reported that a few astronauts and scientists pilfered a few to give to loved ones as an unprecedented gift of moon memorabilia.

My friend Bonnie, a very attractive ‘hippy chick,’ got a few pieces. They were given to her by the nephew – grandson – 3rd cousin – “somebody” related to one of the scientists. He gave them to her in a purple velvet bag.

I turned my head so she wouldn’t see my eyes roll – though she must have heard my suppressed chuckle/cough.

“I know what you’re thinking Franco,” she said, “but it wasn’t ‘that’ – I balled him before he gave them to me.” Now that was probably true – Bonnie had slept with everyone except the ‘Man in the Moon.’

“Where are they now?” I asked.

“I ate them.”

“Say WHAT!?”

“That’s right,” she said, “they just looked like regular, crushed stones – and I knew no one would believe they were from the moon, so I ate them.  I wanted them to be part of me forever.” (Obviously human digestion wasn’t her strong suite.)

Long pause.

“Once I got a tan – from the sun,” I said.

“You know, Franco, sometimes you can be a real asshole.”

She’s right.

I’ve Got Your Pie Chart, RIGHT HERE!

Thursday, January 12th, 2012