Archive for January 11th, 2012

What If Elections Don’t Matter?

Wednesday, January 11th, 2012

(PS – Most of the national ones DON’T)

ME? Suggesting you watch a 5-minute video from FOX NEWS?  I’ll take “my” truth from whichever source it comes.  Here it comes from Judge Napolitano:

Bar Mitzvah Fashion DON’T:

Wednesday, January 11th, 2012

Swastika Earrings

Yes, I know the swastika is an ancient symbol of Buddhists and American Indians. And I know it was worshipped for centuries by many groups – ions before Adolph started filling cattle cars with innocent Jews.  But in our times, the swastika means Nazi.  And anyone who wears one seeks shocking attention.

There’s an upsurge in cheap, kid jewelry designed to send parents’ blood pressure soaring. The earrings above made in India cost $5.99.  Storm trooper insignia rings start around $20.

I have a better idea.  Why don’t kids just tattoo their arms with  large numbers and pretend they’re Buchenwald survivors?  Or, better yet, peel off enough of their skin to make lampshades?

Playing Footsie With Reality

Wednesday, January 11th, 2012

Two years ago, a lot of us got a big kick out of this incident:  it seems a human foot was found on a conveyer belt at a recycling plant in Seneca, a small town in upstate New York.

Naturally the workers at Casella Waste Management were quite concerned when they saw the foot coming down the line. Are human body parts recyclable?  Was the rest of the body on its way? Was somebody just putting his best foot forward and keeping the rest?

As rumors ran rampant, law enforcement and county officials called the media for a press conference. They looked grim. Yes, initial medical reports said the foot was human and only partially decomposed. Yes, we’re sending it the Monroe County Medical Examiner’s Office for DNA confirmation. No, it has not been determined if it’s a male or female foot. No, we don’t know if it’s from a child or an adult.

Please people, they said, stop calling the police with reports of missing persons until we kick this thing around a bit and see what’s up.  Casella Waste gets refuse from 15 New York counties and parts of Canada – we’ve got to check all of them.  Yes, we’re on our toes down here – we know what we’re doing.

By Tuesday the crisis was peaking.  The plant was closed and inspectors were all over the place like smell on garbage. Then, a shocking development!  The foot was tracked to Canada – specifically to a load from a recycling centre on New Toronto Street, near Lake Shore Boulevard.  The Toronto Homicide Department stepped in.

“It could only be one of two things: medical waste or foul play,” said Toronto police Staff Sgt. David Vickers.  Uh oh.

The kicker came on Thursday.

“After days of DNA testing, we’ve determined that what we have is not a human foot – but probably the foot of a black bear,” said Seneca Sheriff Philip Povero. Oops – a bear foot – not a bare foot!  How embearassing! At least now Toronto Police could refocus their investigation to search for a large, black bear hopping around their city.

And what can we learn from this drama?  Something computer geeks taught us long ago  – “Garbage In – Garbage Out”.