Archive for August, 2011

Maybe Uncle Earthquake?

Saturday, August 27th, 2011


Hurricane Irene has a page on Facebook.  I think she’s looking for friends.  Any suggestions?

facebook.com/hurricane.irene

Thinking for Dummies

Thursday, August 25th, 2011

Thinking isn’t too hard once you get the hang of it.  But most people meander through their mediocre lives seemingly oblivious to the fact that this isn’t a dress rehearsal – this is it. The worst part about thinking is you can think too much and goof up your day.

Like PIN numbers.  Every time I use my ATM card, the machine asks for my pin number.  When I type in the four digits, it shows “XXXX” and then asks “Is this your pin number?”

Well of course XXXX isn’t my pin number but if I press “no” I’ve got to start all over again. And I must keep inserting my card until I answer “Yes”.  In other words, I’ve got to lie to the damn ATM  to get my own money on which I’ll be charged a hefty fee plus an additional fee by my bank because I didn’t use their inconvenient ATM.

Once I walked up to my bank’s ATM and inserted my card.  When it asked for my pin number,  I typed “XXXX”.  The friggin’ machine shot out my card so fast I thought it would hit the ground.

People are as boring with their pin numbers as they are in their lives.  A recent poll showed about 1/3 of all adults use: 1-2-3-4-5, or a-b-c-d-e  or some derivation of those.  I guess they think they can remember those but since they don’t have much else about which to think, they should make a little more effort not to be such dullards.

A Kodak Moment (Before the Polaroid Lawsuit)

Wednesday, August 24th, 2011

“You Said You Were Going To The PTA!”

Wednesday, August 24th, 2011

Mariel Clayton likes to play with dolls, shoot photographs, and make people laugh. This is one example of her sickness.  Website:

thephotographymarielclayton.com

East Coast EARTHQUAKE!

Tuesday, August 23rd, 2011

www.bestweekever

Shoot & Clunk Celebrations

Tuesday, August 23rd, 2011


Libyan rebels joyfully celebrated their advance into Tripoli yesterday by shooting automatic weapons into the air.  The emotional soldiers were practicing a ritual common in many places around the world.  It beats pounding your chest screaming Tarzan victory  yells – but not by much.

Unfortunately, the laws of physics don’t give free passes for celebrations.  What goes up must come down.  And sometimes what comes down crashes through some nitwit bystander’s skull. This year,  while welcoming in the New Year, three people in the Philippines died from falling bullets. In 2010, a Turkish bridegroom killed three relatives when he fired an AK-47 into the air at his wedding.

Although firing weapons into the air injures many more people than it kills, our Mideast friends should imitate our culture.  To celebrate anything, many Americans get shit-faced drunk. The next day’s hangover usually sucks – but it sure beats a bullet hanging over your throat after taking a short cut through your brain.

Eight Thousand Twenty Four

Monday, August 22nd, 2011

The number of NATO bombing missions over Libya to oust Gaddafi and his Muslim Gang – to replace them with a new Muslim Gang.  Thankfully there were no civilian casualties during these bombing raids and they didn’t cost us a dime.  Why do Arabs hate us so much?  ON TO SYRIA! YAY! (Quick – which side are we on there?).

“Sorry, Ms. Hilton…

Monday, August 22nd, 2011

You can’t go through the full-body scanner again.”

REALLY Nearsighted Paparazzi

Sunday, August 21st, 2011

memewhore.tumblr.com

 

Can You Spell ‘Occupation’?

Saturday, August 20th, 2011


JUST RELEASED:

“Defense Secretary Leon Panetta said Iraq’s government has agreed to extend the U.S. military presence in the country beyond 2011 — but Iraq quickly rejected the claim.

The word from Panetta, during an interview with Stars & Stripes, was the first official indication that any of the 46,000 American troops will remain in Iraq beyond the country’s Dec. 31 deadline for U.S. forces to leave. The U.S. and Iraq reached a security agreement in 2008 that the entire American military would be out of the country by the end of 2011.

www.politico.com