Archive for May, 2011

“I’ve Had Just About Enough Of Myself Today”

Tuesday, May 31st, 2011

I must have this thing about robots.

The title quote is from my beautiful twin Amy.  I resisted writing a blog for years because the ones I read were everyone else’s daily, boring, bullshit lives.  But the “father” of this blog, Paul X (he asked me never to use his name here) said I could write anything I wanted.  So I hope you like my daily opinions and, perhaps, “quirks” – but I’ve had a lousy day and  now – for just one day – you’re going to have to read about it. Why? Because.

• It was 91-friggin’ degrees here with lots of humidity.  I have one of those big, square, floor fans which is now on my desk about a foot from my face. I made a decision in January NOT to purchase the air conditioning, extra rent “plan”. Did you read: JANUARY?!!

• Wednesday the Cat fell asleep on her back with all of her paws out trying to keep cool looking like a kitty slut.  It’s got to be a bitch to wear a fur coat in this weather.

• Maybe because it was too hot in the daytime but a jackhammer has been pounding since about 5:00 pm.  Even though I’m 18-floors from the ground, it sounds like it’s on my terrace which has to be open because of the heat.  If he doesn’t stop by my bedtime, tomorrow you may see me on the national news.

• I’m starving but it’s too hot to make dinner.  I didn’t say “cook” – I said “make”.  Lenny Bruce once said the saddest thing in the world is a hooker’s refrigerator. He never saw mine.  I’ve lived on peanuts and wine since 11:00 AM.

• I will probably delete this post tomorrow.

• I’m sick of looking at that Iraqi guy’s face on my previous blog and tonight Sarah Palin and Donald Trump are having dinner together in New York – really! (And I only get peanuts).  Will she invite him back to the bus?

And how was your day? (never mind I was just being polite)


We “Won” In Iraq? Bullshit!

Tuesday, May 31st, 2011

Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki

Iraqi’s have a strange way of showing appreciation for America’s billions of  war dollars and US troops killed in the last 10-years.  Basically most Iraqi’s want us out of their country saying we are now “occupying” it.  Last week there were violent anti-American protests which included the cliched flag burnings and hate chants.  US commercial interests were also attacked.

Prime Minister al-Malaki (the man we wrestled to the top of the turban heap in “free” elections last March) wants the 50,000 troops to stay past the December agreement.  Few others do.  Why?  Iraq’s nearly-demolished  infrastructure has to be rebuilt and Americans can help.  The troops could protect the rebuilding contracters like Haliburton  – and – not for nothing – keep him in power.

Mission accomplished?  Uh, not so much.  Maybe we’ll do better in Afghanistan.  Right.

I Wouldn’t Call Her a “Bombshell”

Monday, May 30th, 2011

Rima Fakih is Miss USA, 2010.  She’s a Muslim.

“Go Away! He’s Not Just A Robot – He’s…He’s….”

Monday, May 30th, 2011

Does More With Our Dollars Than The Feds

Monday, May 30th, 2011

Artist Dan Tague folds our paper money into something of value.

A Vietnam Vet Looks at Memorial Day

Monday, May 30th, 2011

by Joseph Belle-Isle

When I was a kid, there was a fireworks display every Memorial Day.   The adults, many of them immigrants, were CELEBRATING the fact they made it through W.W.II and the Depression. And they proudly flew the flag because they knew it symbolized the fallen soldiers who made their survival possible.

Last night I saw an old photo of one of our soldiers’ cemeteries from W.W.II. There was a sea of perfectly-aligned monuments representing our soldiers who died in battle. Of course Christians got crosses on their stones, Jewish soldiers got Stars-of-David,  Muslim soldiers got symbols of Islam, and I understand, today the VA even has symbols for Wicans and atheists.  The point is, you don’t have to be a Christian to fight and die for America.  And I kind of think that’s what the country is always fighting for: Freedom for EVERYONE.

When I looked at that photo, I saw a lot more than orderly, clean head stones. I “saw” the screaming and the blood and the noise and the bombs and sometimes the lack of food and ammunition.  I “saw” the horror that each man under every symbol felt when he realized that ‘this is it – so maybe I’ll just charge into death for a cause – so someone else will be free’.

This year, when you fire up the grill and set off the fireworks, I hope you’ll remember to bow your head for a second and think about why your kids are playing in the glow of freedom. Maybe they’re even old enough so you can explain it to them.

Today let’s CELEBRATE and enjoy America’s freedom! And please remember the Vets who made it all possible for you – and for the people who forget why we’re celebrating.

We’d Better Do More Than Just Thank A Vet

Sunday, May 29th, 2011

Tomorrow, there will be many reminders for Americans to thank Veterans for our freedoms.  And that’s how it should be.  However, a few seconds after we remember them, we’re going to forget them – again.

One out of five Vets who returns from Iraq and Afghanistan will have PTSD – Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  You can learn more about it by this Google link:

The worst result of PTSD?  Suicide. Every single day in America, 18 Vets kill themselves.  Certainly some would have killed themselves anyway but stats show significantly more young Americans kill themselves after serving in Vietnam, Iraq, or Afghanistan.

Just as bad?  It’s almost universally agreed that the Veterans Administration delivers marginal health care at best – and lousy psychological help.  That’s disgusting.  These Vets went to serve our country and this is how we repay them?

America’s military budget is about $700-Billion dollars a year.  Much of it wasted in these current unwinnable wars.  Personally I would rather see us lose all of our intangible, lofty goals in these rat holes – than one more American who risked his life for our country.

May I Just Eat a Charcoal Briquette Instead?

Sunday, May 29th, 2011

Yesterday I went to a barbeque which can truly be called “elegant”.  Real plates, cloth napkins, silverware, adult beverages, excellent food, and four refined adults politely discussing topics in a mannered way. I had never before seen a cookout like this – I didn’t even know they existed! My experiences have usually gone like this:

Typically, the Dad drags out the Webber grill, fills it with old charcoal (vintage: Memorial Day, 2010), dumps on too much lighter fluid (a definite lack of creativity naming this product), lights it, and then jumps back from the 2-foot flames.

“I’ll be ready for those steaks in about 10-minutes!” he shouts to his eye-rolling wife who is just thankful he didn’t set the house on fire. The kids groan when they see a backyard inferno like they haven’t seen since the California wildfires. Ahh, charred rawhide for dinner again this year.

“MOM! Can we go to McDonalds?”

”No!” she yells back. “We’re a family – and families cook and eat outdoors together on Memorial Day. It’s important to your Father.”

Louder groans. “Why?” one yells.

“God friggin’ knows…,” she thinks as she scoops salads onto paper plates from plastic containers.

“Go set the table! Use the paper plates and plastic silverware.” More groans. Even before the kids find the long lost picnic supplies, the wind picks up and a new species of aggressive fly is attracted to the smell of burning meat. Finally the family is seated. Paper plates are held down by mayonnaise salads and one hand – as the other tries to shoo away the unrelenting pests.

And despite the fact that everything on the grill is now uniformly burnt to a crispy black, Dad asks the punch line question, “How would you like your steak?”

Tomorrow’s post: “A Vietnam Vet Looks at Memorial Day” by Joe Belle-Isle

The Lord Sayeth, “Run, Bitch, Run”

Saturday, May 28th, 2011

God must REALLY want Obama to be President (another reason I don’t believe in Him).

He was bitching about Heaven’s rent so he gave Donald Trump the “birther” issue and watched him make an ass of himself. CRASH!  Then he let it be known that Bling-Bling Ginrich’s “Family Values” were more like “The Addam’s Family Values”. CRASH! He gave Sarah Palin, Bristol the Pregnant Dancer and a reality show. CRASH! And he gave the rest of the Religious Right’s candidates “The Rapture” and watched them try to dance their way around that one: CRASH! CRASH! CRASH!

Jesus! If he helps the Republicans any more, there might not even BE an election in 2012.

So he called up Congresswoman Michelle Bachman and told her to run for President.  (Shaking my head) Hooooboy!

Bachmann told Iowa voters she had a “calling” to go ahead with the “momentous decision” to run for president – from God.

“Every decision that I make, I pray about, as does my husband,” said Bachman who long ago dabbled in the occult before finding the Lord. “And I can tell, yes, I’ve had that calling and that tugging on my heart that this is the right thing to do.”

You’ve got that one right, Michelle.  It’s the EXTREME RIGHT thing to do.

“Thanks again, God.”

Ms. Airport, May 2011

Friday, May 27th, 2011

(Thanks, Joe and Steve)