Archive for March 9th, 2011

Don’t Be an Ash-Hole

Wednesday, March 9th, 2011


It would not be a good idea today to wipe from your friend’s forehead that annoying, unattractive smudge. See, today is Ash Wednesday – an important Holy Day for Catholics.

Of course, few Catholics remember why we get the smudge. I think it has something to do with America converting from coal to electric,  or a rememberance of the day Tammi Faye Baker converted to Catholicism, or what you would look like after confessing to a mortal sin on Saturday afternoon, doing your penance – getting to third base with your girl Saturday night – then dying in a horrible car accident before you got to Communion Sunday morning. I forget – something like that.

Anyway, I always questioned the Catholic faith. I wondered ‘where did the priest get all those ashes?” Burnt holy cards? Charcoal-like crumbs of out-of-fashion nun gowns from the incinerator? Bonfire remnants from alter boy camp?

OK – it may not be important to you, but really where did the priest get those ashes?’