From my “Oh Just Shut Up!” Department:
It seems heat coming from your laptop computer can cause a rare skin condition called Erythema ab igne. Some people say it can potentially turn into skin cancer years down the line. Some people say just about anything. So far about a dozen people have been diagnosed with this strange malady.
To catch it (so you can sue Steve Jobs or Bill Gates) here’s what you must do:
• Take off your pants (this only works on bare skin).
• Set your laptop on your thigh.
• Keep it running there for 12-or more hours a day.
• Repeat for 3 or 4 years.
When you see a slight, mottled dark area with small white blotches in it, you MAY have succeeded in burning yourself. I say “may” because chances are this “condition” will go away in a few months. Then you have to start all over again.
Sadly, this does not seem like a serious cancer causing condition. Maybe you can tape your cell phone to your head to cause brain cancer.