Archive for October 19th, 2010

Can We Vote in Our Sleep?

Tuesday, October 19th, 2010


The dullest place to be last night was not “The History of  the Rhododendron” lecture at the library.  It was anywhere watching the New York State Gubernatorial Debate.  It started dull and went down from there.

1. Couldn’t they find seven lecterns that matched?  Everyone knows from Speech 101 that if you lazily sit in a chair to speak, you cannot speak with passion.

2. People in New York are supposed to be ANGRY about having the most dysfunctional state government in America.  After the TV network and moderator asked them to “behave”, audience members sat there like obedient sheep.  I wish the Yippies were back.

3. “Crazy Carl” Paladino needed a knockout punch to stay in the race.  He didn’t land one.  Neither did he have an “emergency chute” for his final statement which should have been:

“Folks, I know I made some mistakes tonight – but that’s because I’m not a slick politician.  If you elect me Governor, together we’ll develop new strategies – like economic boycotts – to guarantee the budget will be cut by 20% and your taxes by 10%.  And Sheldon Silver, you’d better hope I’m not elected.”

4.  Andrew Cuomo just had to show up to win – and that’s about all he did.  Great strategy – lousy leadership.

5. Where did the Green candidate get a Southern accent?  South Syracuse?

6. The fashion police should have immediately arrested the “Rent’s Too Damn High!” candidate for wearing black gloves and the “Freedom” party’s rep for wearing a Nehru jacket.

7.  The Libertarian guy had some great ideas delivered in a Sominex style.  Out.

8.  Not one candidate defined “MTA” (Mass Transit Authority) for us dumb hicks Upstate.  Thanks, guys.

9.  Kristin Davis, the Anti-Prohibition candidate, was the only one who suggested additional NEW revenue sources in addition to cutting taxes and eliminating waste. She also had the best sense of humor.  Kristin will get my vote.