Archive for September, 2010

If You Must Wear a Prosthetic Head, This is the 1

Saturday, September 25th, 2010


Friday, September 24th, 2010

Men – Why not disappoint two women instead of just one?

Ask a Stupid Question . . .

Thursday, September 23rd, 2010

Question:  What do you talk about with a 21-year old girl?

Answer:  Why would you talk to a 21-year old girl?

Can God Make Pizza So Hot He Can’t Eat it?

Thursday, September 23rd, 2010

Why do people eat pizza hot?  Why do they risk burning their fingers, tongues, and roofs of their mouths sucking in some superheated-melting cheese and burning dough?

God told me the answer (I think it’s in the Bible – Old Testament).  Pizza is to be eaten piping, steaming hot so you can’t eat too much of it too quickly.

Real Italians know pizza should be eaten at ROOM TEMPERATURE so you can taste all the different flavors and not sound like a friggin’ pig slurping – sucking – blowing – and burning vital body parts.  And at the correct temperature, we get to eat more of it.

Oh My God! Tits on Sesame Street!

Thursday, September 23rd, 2010

Once again, America’s paranoia about anything sexual burst onto Sesame Street when Katy Perry wore a “cleavage-baring dress” (Yes, that’s it above – shocking, don’t you think?) performing a kid-friendly, parody version of her hit “Hot N Cold” with Elmo.  Sesame Street producers quickly pulled the segment because of an avalanche of angry parent letters.

America, did you ever wonder why we have the one of the highest rates of sex crimes, the highest rate of teenage pregnancy, and one of the highest rates of rape in the civilized world?

It’s because this country was founded by a bunch of religious prigs and prudes that other people didn’t want in their countries.  And they’ve passed their strange values and sexual repression on to generations of kids.

Here’s the parody that will bring down Western Civilization:


Warning: this clip features graphic puppetality and may not be suitable for some viewers.

Did You Lose Your Room at the . . .

Wednesday, September 22nd, 2010

Institution for the Criminally Insane?

A Real Woman or a Digitized HD Picture?

Wednesday, September 22nd, 2010

Does It Really Matter?


Wanted My Opinion? Now You’re Going to Get It!

Wednesday, September 22nd, 2010

Bob Woodward gave up a few reasons why Obama is screwing up these wars in his new book, Obama’s Wars.  Basically O doesn’t like the Generals running the war – and they don’t like him.  It seems Obama has taken world politics into consideration and his Generals just want to “win” (whatever the fock that means). Oh, BTW nobody talks of “winning” anymore.  Washington Bullshitari is now taught to say “meeting America’s objectives”.  Have you ever heard such shit?  If  you haven’t, you probably were born after Vietnam.

When you’re in wars in which you don’t need to be, there will ALWAYS be problems.  Just give it up, boys, we’ve already lost. Please don’t kill any more American troops or innocent civilians.

PS, The CIA found President Kharzi (the puppet we’re trying to set up in Afghanistan) is delusional, manic-depressive and takes medication daily).  Oh good, can this get any better, America?

In Loving Memory of Herman

Wednesday, September 22nd, 2010

Herman's Ashes

Jessica recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home. Picking up the urn, she poured his ashes on the patio table. Then, while tracing her fingers in his remains, she started to talk to him.

“Darling, remember that expensive new car you promised me? Well, I bought that with the insurance money.” Wistfully looking into his remains she said,

“Herman, that emerald necklace you promised me? Yes, I bought that with the insurance money too.”

“And Herman, remember that blow job I always promised you?
…..Here it comes.”

“Bang! Bang! Bang! I’m In.”

Tuesday, September 21st, 2010

Today another homeless man was murdered in my city.  Police think it was a “gang initiation” rite – the second one in just a few weeks.  Into which gang are these mentally defective creatures being initiated? These are real tough guys – guys who have so much courage, they can spray paint their club’s name in their colors under a concrete railroad trestle at night.  Big, tough men.

I’ve made a promise to myself.  If the police look into enough sewers and finally find this rat,  I’m personally going to the courtroom to see him arraigned.  I want to see this animal up close and personal.  I want to see an example of how an actual human being has turned into a pile of dog shit.