Archive for September 23rd, 2010

Ask a Stupid Question . . .

Thursday, September 23rd, 2010

Question:  What do you talk about with a 21-year old girl?

Answer:  Why would you talk to a 21-year old girl?

Can God Make Pizza So Hot He Can’t Eat it?

Thursday, September 23rd, 2010

Why do people eat pizza hot?  Why do they risk burning their fingers, tongues, and roofs of their mouths sucking in some superheated-melting cheese and burning dough?

God told me the answer (I think it’s in the Bible – Old Testament).  Pizza is to be eaten piping, steaming hot so you can’t eat too much of it too quickly.

Real Italians know pizza should be eaten at ROOM TEMPERATURE so you can taste all the different flavors and not sound like a friggin’ pig slurping – sucking – blowing – and burning vital body parts.  And at the correct temperature, we get to eat more of it.

Oh My God! Tits on Sesame Street!

Thursday, September 23rd, 2010

Once again, America’s paranoia about anything sexual burst onto Sesame Street when Katy Perry wore a “cleavage-baring dress” (Yes, that’s it above – shocking, don’t you think?) performing a kid-friendly, parody version of her hit “Hot N Cold” with Elmo.  Sesame Street producers quickly pulled the segment because of an avalanche of angry parent letters.

America, did you ever wonder why we have the one of the highest rates of sex crimes, the highest rate of teenage pregnancy, and one of the highest rates of rape in the civilized world?

It’s because this country was founded by a bunch of religious prigs and prudes that other people didn’t want in their countries.  And they’ve passed their strange values and sexual repression on to generations of kids.

Here’s the parody that will bring down Western Civilization:


Warning: this clip features graphic puppetality and may not be suitable for some viewers.