Archive for August 30th, 2010

Our Glorious Victory in Iraq

Monday, August 30th, 2010


(Oops! Wrong picture. DAMN! Folks, please pay no attention to the above picture and the men behind the curtain).

Uh, tomorrow is the official end of the US’s combat role in Iraq.  We won! we’ve toppled that horrible despot, Saddam Hussein, set up a stable government in the country – and Iranians are now free.  We eliminated all the weapons of mass destruction, sectarian violence has ceased, and Osama Bin Laden is now very close to being captured.  Right.

Please let us explain the picture above.  It was taken on December 20, 1983.  The gentleman on the left is Donald Rumsfeld shaking hands with you know who.  Rumsfeld was a special envoy for President Ronald Reagan in those days.  Later he became Secretary of Defense under both Presidents Gerald Ford and George W. Bush.

In 1984, the United States supplied Iraq with helicopters and other “dual use” equipment and materials including chemical weapons.  (“I KNOW he has chemical weapons – I have the receipts right here!”).  We also provided intelligence and satellite data to assist Iraq’s bombing of Iran.  Besides all the Iranians he killed, Suddam also killed over 500,000 of his own people.

You see, Saddam was our friend in those days – but then he became our evil enemy (although he had nothing to do with 911).  Something like that.  Sorry – I’d explain but Americans are too dumb to understand Mideast foreign policy. The Big O will explain it to you tomorrow.

No matter, just remember: these wars (Iraq and Afghanistan) have NO connection to the profits of the military-industrial complex (Eisenhower must have been senile) nor America’s arrogant, 1950’s self-image drowning in a puddle of cheap 21st century reality.  And, at only $1-Trillion Dollars, they were quite a steal for the American taxpayer.

He Fixed Her Flat

Monday, August 30th, 2010

awkward family photos

“Sure I’ll Take You Kids to Disneyland…heh, heh.”

Monday, August 30th, 2010

awkward family photos