Archive for August 20th, 2010

Remote Control Penis

Friday, August 20th, 2010

My gal-pal B. and I were lying around yesterday discussing the promise of artificial penis’s.

Penile implants have been around for years.  Their popularity has had its ups and downs (somebody had to say it) but  new technological advantages out measure their performance in years past.

Today, after a brief operation, the device pictured above is inserted into a non-working penile appendage. And then the pump on the right is repeatedly pushed through the scrotum to get the desired erection.  Of course you don’t get a larger penis, you just get what you had.

When I read about this, I had an idea. Unfortunately I shared it with my friend.

“Wouldn’t pumping the tire kind of take away from the romance of the moment?” I said.

B. looked at me suspiciously – I went on. “With today’s technology wouldn’t it  be better to push a button on a remote for takeoff  – and then casually turn over and push another button for landing – so to speak?”

Thoughtful silence.

“I have a better idea,” B. said, “What if the on-off switch was in a Clapper?  We’d have to change the name, of course – but besides that, it’s a great idea! Clap on – erection.  Clap off – over and out.”

I have to admit, I thought about it.

“Wait a minute, “ I said. “The Clapper won’t know who’s clapping.  The woman might clap and everything would go down.”

B. just smiled and nodded her head.