Archive for July 9th, 2010

Adding to Our “Zipper Muffin” Collection…

Friday, July 9th, 2010

is fabulous Marilyn Monroe.  She did not have nice feet.  No one cared.

Added Together, Their IQ Equals a Plant’s

Friday, July 9th, 2010

This actually happened here in Upstate New York last summer.  Let’s take a pop quiz.

OK, it’s almost 2:00 AM and you’re drunk and your boyfriend is even drunker and has pot in his pocket. He’s speeding down the highway in a county known for its tough DWI enforcement and wildly tries to make a left turn. The car careens off the road and  smashes into an auto dealership taking out the front row of cars.  He then  jumps from the car and starts running.  Do you:

A. Step out of the car, start crying like a little girl, and put your hands on the hood knowing the cops will be there in a minute? Or,

B. Exit the car, open your mouth and gaze into space feigning amnesia? Or,

C. Stumble behind the wheel even though you don’t know how to drive –  and try to get away?

Of course the young genius chose “C” but crashed into another car BECA– USE SHE DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO DRIVE!

Half Empty – or Half Full?

Friday, July 9th, 2010

Is the gentleman trying to put the lady’s dress on – or is he taking it off?