Archive for June 17th, 2010

I’m Not the Tripe Type

Thursday, June 17th, 2010

There’s an Italian restaurant close to me that’s supposed to have the best tripe in the city. I’ve never had their tripe. Actually, I’ve never had anyone’s tripe which is cow stomach, nor scungile which is octopus, nor escargot which, of course, are snails. I’ve never eaten lobster in anything other than bisque, clams outside of chowder, squashed sardines, nor oysters when they lay dead in their shells. I won’t eat liver pate or any other way.

I don’t eat chicken legs, pig knuckles, or turkey drumsticks. I’ve never eaten a chicken’s wing, a duck’s breast, rabbit, or a partridge hanging on to its bones. I’ve never had for dinner a pheasant under glass, frog legs, turtle soup, blood sausage, nor anything that even resembles sushi. I’ve never been to a pig roast and I’m always wondering what happens to pig snouts, eyeballs, lips, brains, testes, and tails. I know I don’t want to know.

I’m not a vegetarian by any means. I love steak, cheeseburgers, boneless chicken, bacon, and I make the best chili (with steak, Italian sausage, & Merlot – no beans) that you’ll ever eat. I just can’t eat anything that looks like anything. I never could – even as a kid. My imagination was too big and I couldn’t switch it to ‘disassociate’ like most people. I still can’t.